29M here my 4 yrs relationship ex called me after 3months.....
A little bit of context first
So my relationship started in my post graduation then 6 months we were together after that it was LDR. While she made friends used to hangout with them go watch a movie with a colleague and yeah i trusted her always though I told her not to go alone with any male wherever it is cause I know how males are and i didn't like that in a relationship. I was WFH so school friends only. It was my first relationship and it was her 3rd. So we were in deeply love atleast I was.
We decided to ready our parents for marriage but her caste was brahmin so of course they were orthodox. Hamari zaat upar ye vo all that bullshit. And she was unable to make them understand and was expecting me to go directly talk to her father. In that span she broke with me 2 times that they can't be convinced etc don't waste your time on me.I did talk to him multiple times on call and tried to convince him and all but yeah they didn't even agree to meet. Even my parents tried to convince him. But she was adamant that if u come directly to my house things will change. I tried to convince her that just get your father ready to meet at least tell him that I'm coming and all but she didn't. In that our distances grew because of this and she cheated.
I tried to accept her after that but couldn't trust her as she was taking me for granted wandering with her male friends going into the room for a movie giving me minimal time to talk etc. I did ask her already that u have colleagues whatever go in group but don't go into any male friend's room alone because I didn't like that and I was also not doing anything like having female friends and all I was fully committed to her. But she kept doing all those things in a relationship and after cheating when I was trying to fix things etc. Yeah I made a dumb mistake to accept her but I was blind in love and she put me in so much guilt that it seemed my fault. And she also told me that I did that to move on from you he manipulated me as I was depressed etc all that bullshit talk Because when I asked her to stop things like giving too much time to friends and not to us she said mean things to me.So i broke up. I blocked her from every platform but not her number.
1 month later.......
I was chatting with her friend and her topic came up i told her my side of the story because her friend said ki she didn't cheat on you u were not in relationship and all. You were on and off and yeah she was talking with arrange marriage dudes from her caste which her family was showing to her and me and that guy she cheated with. And she took her on conference and we fought i blamed her how she treated me last year. She blamed me etc so I blocked her for my peace of mind.
Fast forward to today.
It was my birthday yesterday I was missing her a lot had an anxiety attack and was scrolling through my phone and there came her call at 2 am with her company phone number that I didn't have on my block list. So i was so angry these months why she did this. she could have just blocked or broken up with me properly then could have done all those things. But when I picked up the call i couldn't say any bad words I just couldn't. In my mind I had a lot of anger I could have abused here and there. But I couldn't she was boasting that her company is good friends are good etc tarif and tarif life is going good I'm happy etc. I was just listening talked like a friend and at the end I wished her good life and just told her not to call me again.
Yeah I had a lot of anger in me but I just couldn't say any bad things to her. Maybe because my behaviour is like that I can't curse or abuse anyone.
Am I moving on ? Yes I'm trying to keep myself busy.
Am I glad I ended that relationship? Yes because what I was experiencing that I couldn't see because I was blind in love. 3 more people in our mutual who knows us properly told me to breakup because she is just using me and she is dominating me at every point of my life. And yes I was scared to do things that will trigger her in a relationship. Because I didn't want to fight.
Time will heal ? Yes I guess it will ...but I'm concerned about the trust I need to build because in future whoever comes into my life will also have friends male female so if I will be insecure that would be bad for relationship.
So this was my rant ...