Me (m19) and my girlfriend (f19) have been dating for almost two years. Recently, we’ve been in a little bit of a rough patch. This led to breaking up at one point, about two weeks ago. That night, she was very emotional and didn’t want to sleep alone at her house, we’ve broken up and gone through very rough times before, but I’ll admit this time was definitely different. Anyway, she went to her friends house to not be alone and get drunk for her emotions I suppose, and ended up sleeping with someone.
Obviously, there’s a lot more detail that goes into it, so here it is. So the friends she was hanging out with were a couple, I’m just gonna call them the boyfriend and the girlfriend, and the boyfriend was going to go with another friend to a bar at the end of the night. So his friend came over, and this point my girlfriend already says she has no recollection of, but I’ve heard 3 different stories of why they didn’t end up going to the bar, the boyfriend said it was because he wanted to make a move on my girlfriend, the girlfriend said it was because the bar closed, and my girlfriend said it was because the couple got into a fight, I don’t know which is true but my girlfriend says they all three are.
Basically at some point in the night, the friend and my girlfriend started making out, at first I was told that the friend grabbed her face and just kissed her, then I was told that they she did kiss back a little bit, then I was told that he made out with her and she made out back, and now the final story is that they were fully making out, and the girlfriend (who told me this) didn’t see who started it or how long it was going on before she saw.
Some time after that, the friend told the couple that him and my girlfriend were going to go get food, and instead of getting food they just went to his truck and fucked. She said the only memory she has of the whole night is that when they were walking to his truck, she realized she didn’t have her phone and was scared, and wanted to be able to text her friend if she needed to, but then she still went into the truck with him.
Now I understand that she was severely intoxicated, but it’s not like he was making out with someone unconscious, they were fully making out together. I think he definitely took advantage of her being drunk but I just don’t feel like it wasn’t consensual because of the making out and willingness to go with him. I don’t know what to think. I feel like I can’t trust any of their words because they’ve changed their stories multiple times and contradicted what they’ve said.
I also get that we weren’t together so it’s not exactly cheating but it hurts so bad and I just feel like we’ve been through harder times than where we were, like we were back talking things through the next day together. She waited a week to tell me because of a lot of other stuff going on in her life, which I actually don’t blame her for, but another thing that is very strange to me is that she told me a day or two later that she kissed someone else, but that he just grabbed her face,kissed her, and her friend like got in the middle of it and stopped it. Then a week later she told me the full complete story.
Also this guy was completely sober and has a gf, wanted to note.
I am completely at a loss. I have no idea what to do and any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. I don’t want people to read this and give advice purely off of my own perspective, so I wanted to let my girlfriend add some of her thoughts, so here they are.
the night started off as my friends and I drinking because my boyfriend had just broken up with me and I was trying to distract myself. as the night went on it was really late I want to say around 12-1 my guy friend wanted to go to the bar with his friend so he invited him over. Me and my friend were going to be at the house and have girl time. By the time the guy had come over I was very very drunk I don’t remember him ever coming over the rest I was told by my friends because I blacked out but allegedly my friends that are a couple got into a fight by the end of the fight the couple had started kissing and when they stopped they looked over and the guy and I were also kissing mind u I don’t remember any of this or how this started but everyone who was there that night told me different stories, I didn’t see who initiated it or like he grabbed my face. I don’t know what the truth is. then we all went inside and he told everyone we were going to get food I don’t know what was said to me but the last memory of that night was us leaving and me being scared and checking to see if I had my phone on me to tell my friend to come get me cause I didn’t want to go. I know in that moment I was uncomfortable and nervous. after that the rest of the night is nothing. I woke up the next morning to my guy friend telling me that the guy and I had sex last night and that after we got back to the house he left immediately.
Mind u this man I had sex with was SOBER
Edit: forgot to add question, I am mostly just wondering if we should stay together? Should I not be upset because she was drunk and could have been taken advantage of? How can we move forward?