u/New-Occasion-4949

Здраво дечки, ако некој од вас се соочувал или се соочува со ова, имате ли совет како да се справам? Секој ден ми е борба и циклус на прејадување и вина.

Let me start by saying this, the root to my depression is trauma due to severe mental and physical bullying as kid because of being fat. I went to psychiatrist the moment I turned 18 and they immediately put on me meds. I was normal weight when I was 18 and had healthy lifestyle. I started taking the prescribed meds which caused me to gain lot of weight due to abnormaly increased appetite as side effect. I've been on meds for 8 years now.

During this 8 years I gained significant ammount of weight due to abnormaly high apettite. During all these years I've been telling them this and they would literally treat me like experiment switching up meds and increasing the doses constantly every now and then every few months. Every few months I'm put on different meds, they would just increase the dose to max then switch up to next medication. I was doing good on fluoxetine, my appetite was finaly regulated and normal, I finally built healthy lifestyle and started to become happy. But they apparently put me off of it and put me on paroxetine instead. This switches caused me to have unsuccessful attempt year ago. That's when the worst came. I was put on venlafaxine, olanzapine and clonazepam. Olanzapine ruined me. Olanzapine has been proved to cause significant weight gain due to slowing down metabolism, lowering the TDEE aka the calories you burn per day, lower insulin sensitivity causing the blood sugar to be stored as fat instead of used by the cells for energy, increasing the ghrelin and leptin which are hunger hormones and other things. It completely wrecked my body and made me overweight, gaining significant unhealthy ammount of weight.

Don't get me wrong I don't starve in fact I can't stop stuffing my face with food and I can't control it, I'm trying every day I swear, I'm battling with myself everyday but I just can't. I'm feeling constant hunger, no matter how much and what I eat it's like I have a hole in my stomach and no matter what I never feel full, satisfed and energetic. My body constantly craves food and energy.

Many of you will say just change the psychiatrist. I did, this is the 5th one. They are all doing the same. Living in a 3rd world country is hell they don't care about you at all and seems like they aren't competent enough so they are just trying everything, switching up meds and doses every few months. This also caused me to develop severe resistance to antidepressants.

Last time I went, six weeks ago I told my psychiatrist that I'm really tired of this and I don't want to feel hungry 24/7 and keep gaining unhealthy ammount of weight. He told me in agressive tone "If you don't want medical help, why are you here, go cure yourself, don't ask for medical help". This put me in distress and I crashed out, crying ugly. Then he prescribed me mirtazapine. I speciffically asked him to not prescribe me more meds that will cause me to gain even more weight, I don't want to overeat and feel constantly hungry anymore, I'm losing control of my life. He told me oh don't worry this in fact will make you lose weight. I started taking the drug and then I read the user manual and the first side effect listed is literally increased appetite and significant weight gain, even tho he told me "don't worry, this will cause weight loss". I gained even more weight since then cause I'm like rabid animal who can't stop stuffing mouth with food. 1/2 - Part 2 in comments.