u/New-Influence6420

I think I’ve finally given up on myself. I have grieved my wife of 25 years three different times in the last 3 months and still feel the same. I do NOT want this separation. I have been there for her and keep doing what I can for the kids, but I’m honestly exhausted, out of energy and am now finding it hard to even enjoy anything, go to bed at night or to get up in the mornings. Days and nights, asleep and awake, reality and dreams, sun and rain all feel the same. I don’t know what day it is and it’s hard to remember the happenings of one day from another. I’ve decided I have to give up on myself for myself. I will no longer do anything for my ex. I will not communicate any longer. I will stop shopping. I will stop cleaning. I will stop going to work and we will see what happens. I have nothing to lose anymore as she’s burning everything to the ground and we are selling everything anyway. I’m using the last bit of energy I have to leap without a net.