Good afternoon,
I’m a 21 y/o who feels like I have myself pretty well kept together. I came from a pretty rough childhood with abuse, and a past relationship with the same abuse that I’m still coping with but growing through. I’ve proved myself pretty well both mentally, career wise, and financially on my own. My families a complete mess all around, not one stable person, even though they’re all years older than me.
I’ve had it all together since I was about 18 because I knew I wouldn’t be like them. Finances, career, future planning, stability, car, house, stable mindset and mental health, etc.
well here’s the thing, the fiancé that I was planning my future with for the past three years suddenly passed away a couple months ago. And now all I want to do is be with him. Our plans for kids or a future are gone. I have a few pretty rough health conditions to where I know I won’t make it more than a few years from now, and I am okay with that. My family doesn’t know this, and I’ve kept it from them because I’m still coaching my parents and siblings through their own life crisis’ and I don’t wanna add another with my health issues.
I’m not saying I want to harm myself, I’m not saying I have a negative mindset or feelings that need changing, but I just want somebody to talk to. I want somebody to explain my feelings and my life story to that isn’t going to give me ‘advice’ or the ‘positive side of the situation’.
Where do I turn to?
I’m willing to pay for a therapist or whatever, but every experience I’ve had with one they just want to coach me through my life. When all I want is for someone to resonate with me, listen, and tell me my feelings are valid. I don’t want pity, I don’t want ‘positive solutions’ I don’t need reassurance of someone feeling bad for me.