u/New-Dependent5920

This is a pretty big chunk of the opening chapter of my book. I’m hoping to get some insight on whether my characterization or explanation of the magic system is appealing to people and also how quality is the writing and prose as a whole. I hope you can all be honest and not hold any punches as to the flaws of this writing. Rip it to shreds if you have to. I’m a fairly new writer so a lot of things here are just going to be crap. I tried to remove as many grammatical errors as possible but I apologize if they still do show up. A lot of the terms I use especially to describe the magic systems are place holders. I’d classify the story as epic fantasy with a hint of flintlock elements. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LRx\_Ca-WGWSW1dpRcwLZH4\_ysj8MOG0YBE076apkjkc/edit?usp=drivesdk

A Kingdom that was and is and is to come.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J9l4Dt5UtI06A1kWlqmzn7jOF\_-KtY7\_RORG1cbNT-8/edit?usp=drivesdk.
 
This is supposed to be an introduction to a much longer novella that takes the form of several interconnected stories within the same broader mythos.
I was aiming for a very decadent, gothic and existentially horrifying tone.
The narrators voice is something that I tried to hone in on and make a bit stronger and I want to see how it comes across to readers.
However I’d appreciate criticism and advice for all aspects of the writing especially the prose, plot and characterization.
I’m definitely a bit of a novice writer all things considered and i believe there is a lot of room I have to  improve upon within all of those categories.
Thanks to anyone who reads and leaves a critique!

This is an excerpt from the middle of my novel and is supposed to contain pretty heavy foreshadowing. I am aiming for a mix of dread and whimsy in the scene. I would like to get some feedback on whether it actually gives off that vibe.

This my first post on this account and I hope that this is a fun read. Please be concise and honest about any grammatical errors or narrative inconsistencies. I want to develop my prose to be much sharper and flow better.

This is my first novel too so I suspect it will be quite rusty.

 Thank you if you reading or offer any critiques you have. It is very much appreciated. Have a wonderful rest of your day and a good luck writing.