u/New-Balance3473 — reddlx

Where do I begin…

WEDDING: I wanted a small wedding. She begged my husband not do something small as she wanted her entire family to come up from Brazil for it. Fine, we caved. She also said, “If you have a big wedding, people will pay you more,” to which my mom and I told her, “Absolutely not, that’s not how it works.” She begged to differ as her family had money and told us not worry, her family will certainly provide us with gifts (comical - more to come on this). This wedding turned out to be over the top - if I was going to do a big wedding, I was doing it big - that's 100% on me which I completely own. Did she offer to help or even pitch in for anything, absolutely not, although to her credit (well, technically my husband’s) they booked the rehearsal dinner - he actually had to coordinate it, she helped with decorations - this was AFTER told him they needed to do it because my family and I coordinated literally EVERYTHING else. At that point I wanted nothing to do with it, and I made it very clear the rehearsal dinner was on them.
1. WEDDING DRESS: I purposely scheduled my appointment around her work schedule so she could attend. She lives an hour away and took too long to get ready that day, as with every other day. Even her own, now-3rd husband yelled at her for being late and called my husband to give him a heads up. She showed up an hour and a half late for my appointment. I was livid as I intentionally accommodated her schedule. By the time she arrived, my appointment was over, and she begged the woman to allow me to put my dress back on, even though her next client was there.
2. BRIDAL SHOWER: my mom handled the shower and asked her if there was anyone she wanted to invite. She didn't invite a single person.
3. WEDDING: a lot of her family did attend. Now, believe me, I completely understand that one would deduct the cost of travel from a gift. And frankly, I didn't expect to get much from her family, so my heart wasn't broken when we received nothing, though my husband was a bit surprised. She had the audacity to ask us how much money they gave us, and I promptly replied with “Absolutely nothing.” She thought I was kidding, but the reality of the situation was just that - we received nothing from her family. We also didn’t receive enough to cover the cost of the dinners for her husband's side - totally fine - at least they contributed something. Her husband actually felt horrible and offered to make up the difference. The irony here is her family in Brazil is INCREDIBLY wealthy - very prominent in society (heads of hospitals, finance, government, etc.), I’m talking mansions on the ocean, first class plane tickets, some of his uncles even went shopping at Cartier in NYC before our wedding, and one of them lent my husband Cartier cuff links to wear on our big day... that kind of wealthy. Just very ironic.
HOLIDAYS
1. This is the second year in a row that she said they would be present for Christmas and/or Easter dinner, and didn’t show. This year, for Easter, I also purposely changed the time to accommodate her schedule, which ended up messing up my brother and sister-in-law's other plans. An hour before we were about to eat, she called my husband to tell him they wouldn’t be there, eat without them, and they may show up for dessert.
HOME
1. We bought a large home and gutted most of it. Perhaps I just have great taste (ha!) but she’s getting on my freaking nerves as she’s now starting to buy the same light fixtures I had installed. I was gifted a grandfather clock by my late great-aunt, and what does my MIL do? She goes and finds a very similar one on Facebook Marketplace, sends it to my husband... "Look at my new toy." It’s driving me insane.
2. Our new house is setup to entertain. A year ago she tells us to book off Christmas 2025 as she’s hosting. I told my husband absolutely not. I bought this house and had the entire kitchen designed solely to host holidays - it's something I very much enjoy! This woman doesn’t even cook. I said we can go for Christmas Eve, but I’m hosting Christmas. She said fine. Lo and behold, she cancels Christmas Eve a few days prior. Can’t make this up.
3. My husband bought a brand new, top-of-the-line pickup truck. She went out a few months later, and bought her own pickup.
PREGNANCY
1. I was going to be due in early November (unfortunately I just had a miscarriage, but I'm OK!). Anyway, he has a cousin who is getting married in a state that's a 5 flight away and the date was a few weeks before my due date. She asked him if we were going, and to my husband's credit he just came out and said no. She asked why, and he had to explain that I was due just a few weeks later, and it was too much of a risk (he's a doctor, so he actually gets it). She said, then I should just stay home and he should go as they came to our wedding (they lived in hour from the venue when we got married and since moved away). He said, absolutely not what happens if something happens to me. She said I would be fine and nothing would happen. She then proceeds to say, if we're not going then we can take her 150 lb dog and watch him. He told her absolutely not as we have 2 dogs of our own and it'll be too much as I'll be on the cusp of giving birth. She was pissed and said fine, she'll just have to drive her dog to his cousin's house, who lives 6 hours away (can't make this crap up).

There's other stuff, but I think this is enough for now.

Even my mom was like WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!

My husband always has an excuse for her and this last time I told him forget it, I’m all done going out of my way. “It’s just how she is,” he would say. Clueless and inconsiderate is what she is. Perhaps I'm overreacting, but often I try to give this woman the benefit of the doubt, and then I just end up getting slapped upside the head.