Ex gf blindsided me and found rebound in a week, how to move on?
Was in a relationship for a bit more than a year and a half. Long distance for much of it, but we were actively making plans to close the distance, get married, move in together ecc (we had been discussing this for months). Also had a one month trip planned for June, including concerts tickets, ecc. all of it was non-refundable, she was supposed to come see me.
Then out of the blue she calls me, says she doesn’t see me in her future anymore, that this is not worth the effort, that she has a war in her mind and this stresses her so much (did not bring a single thing up earlier nor communicated anything). Tried to reassure her but nothing worked; still, she was not saying she wanted to break up. Had to literally pull the words out of her mouth. I wished her the best, block and go no contact.
2 days after she texts me from 3 diff accounts, says she did not mean to break up and just wanted to talk, says she misses me and asks me to respond. I tell her there’s a chance to reconcile if she shows that she can grow and that I can trust her. After a few days we call, talk for 2 hours about getting back together, when it’s basically settled she says that she’s getting anxiety again and cannot do it; asks me for more time to think. I say no. This time o get angry, call her out for being so undecided and playing with me and block. She also revealed she had cancelled the non-refundable tickets she had gotten to see me and started talking to someone on hinge the day after the breakup. She said the new girl was just a rebound to suppress the urge to text me.
Then a week later I get a text from a mutual friend saying that she’s been posting stories with a new girl, kissing her, going on dates, ecc. This has now been going on for two weeks, seems like she’s in a new committed relationship.
I just wanna know how do I move on from this? I genuinely do not love her anymore after this because it just gives me the ick and makes me think that I never really knew who she was until now. So it’s not even heartbreak at this point. It’s just a feeling of betrayal, like all that we had and all that she told me was not honest. I feel sick to my stomach when i think about it.I don’t know how to trust again after this. Or how to forgive her, for my own good.
Also now questioning whether I actually got cheated on….
Any advice on concrete, practical things I can do to move on from this feeling of betrayal?