A school teacher, a priest and a lawyer are on a cruise ship when all of a sudden they hit an iceberg. Everyone’s rushing towards the lifeboats. The school teaching yells “we have to save the kids”. The lawyer yells “screw the kids!” the priest says “do you think we have enough time?”
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death.
After a long life together, the wife was the first to die and true to her words, she made the first contact:
W : "Darling... Darling"
H : "Is that you Baby ?"
W : "Yes, I've come back like we agreed"
H : "That's wonderful !!! What is it like in the afterlife? Is there sex?"
W : "Well, as soon as I get up in the morning, I have sex with a man. After sex and breakfast it's off to the golf course. Thereafter I bathe in the warm sun and have sex a couple of more times with two different guys.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). After lunch, it's back to the ground again.
Then it's more sex with different men until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again."
H: "Oh Baby... are you in Heaven ?"
W : "No, I'm a goat somewhere in Pakistan”.