How do I go about talking to my husband about wanting to feel appreciated for Mothers Day?
I [30F] and my husband [29M] had our first baby 2 months ago. We have been married for 7 years. We've known each other since elementary school. Mother's Day is coming up and I am anticipating that my husband won't do anything for me.
When we first started dating we bought each other gifts or did special things for each other without having to ask for it. A few years ago on my birthday we went to a free live music event not to celebrate my birthday but just because our friends were going. One of our friends at the time [30M] (no longer our friend) we'll call him Chase was riding home with us because he was our roommate. He began telling my husband and I that celebrating your birthday is egotistical and that any celebration for yourself is egotistical. I felt this was a targeted comment towards me. I am not confrontational so I let it go. I felt as though my husband must have agreed with this statement and has not done anything for my birthday. I usually have to make plans myself. It has hurt my feelings in the past but it made me wonder if it's true that I should not consider celebrating my birthday because it's "egotistical".
With this being stated I feel that I need to guard my heart in case nothing happens for Mothers Day. This is my first ever Mother's Day being a mother and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since having my baby. I feel like any nice gesture even a card would make me feel appreciated. I don't know if I should mention to him what it means to me to be appreciated on Mother's Day or if I should just wait for the day to come and bring it up to him later if he doesn't do anything. Even the idea of bringing it up feels like it's not as special because I had to ask for it.
A week ago my husband and I were talking about the love language test we took a while back. His love language is "acts of service" and mine is "words of affirmation". We both scored the lowest on "gifts". This made sense to me because my husband never knows what he wants for his birthday or Christmas and I prefer experiences over gifts. I feel as though anything that would affirm that I am doing a good job as a mother is gift enough for me on Mother's Day.
How do I respond if nothing happens for Mother's Day?