u/NeverSurrender1026

NC with my father for 4 years but he still manages to creep me out

English isn't my native language so please bear with me...

I need to write about something that deeply bothers me at the moment and it creeps the hell out of me.

So a little backstory: In the year 2020 me and my father drove about 5 hours to get my dream car. It's a car you don't see often in my area with a distinct color. Back then my father also let me use his convertible car in summertime with a license plate that had the initial of my name.

Soooo...fast forward to now...I think i was dreaming when I saw a girl my age driving the exact same car (same marque, same color) with the old license plate from that convertible car (my initial). The chances that this could be a mere coincidence are close to zero if you ask me. I never saw that girl before and she even looked a little similar to me.

Somehow she must be related to my father. I don't think she's his girlfriend (looks way too young for that). At first I thought she could be my half-sister. But regarding her age she's still not allowed to operate a vehicle alone.

I really find this extremely creepy. I guess this feels like a weird power move to him and he did this to intentionally hurt me (probably thought we'd meet sooner or later and i already saw her about 2 times, pretty small town). He's very much aware how much my dreamcar means to me.

What's your guys take on this? Who could she be? Am i overreacting? Do you think i'm right on the money regarding my father's intention?

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u/NeverSurrender1026 — 14 hours ago

Ich hätte mal gerne eine unparteiische Meinung von euch.

Ich bin jetzt schon bald 4 Jahre Single. Meine letzte Beziehung hatte es wirklich in sich :/. Mittlerweile wird dieser Begriff ja inflationär benutzt, aber ich denke immer noch, dass ich es mit einem Narzissten zu tun hatte. Zusätzlich bin ich auch noch in eine emotionale Abhängigkeit geraten. Ich hab den Absprung dann aus eigener Kraft geschafft, aber der Horror hat tiefe Narben hinterlassen. Es wurde bestimmt jedes Tabu gebrochen, was es zu brechen gab. Am schlimmsten war aber wohl, dass er mir mehrere Male ungeschützt fremdgegangen war und mich immer hingestellt hat, als wäre ich paranoid und würde mir gewisse Red Flags einbilden. Kam auch alles nur raus, weil ich auf eigene Faust nachgeforscht habe.

Danach war ich mir irgendwie sicher, dass ich mich wohl nie wieder auf einen Mann einlassen werden kann. Ich hatte vor dieser Beziehung schon immer mal wieder psychische Probleme und danach ist es richtig eskaliert. Versucht therapeutisch einiges aufzuarbeiten, aber die Erfahrung bleibt halt trotzdem. Habe mich dann erstmal strikt vom Dating ferngehalten, versucht zu gesunden und viel Selbstfürsorge betrieben.

Nun ist es so, dass ich seit geraumer Zeit wieder die Sehnsucht nach einem Partner verspüre. Hab mich deswegen auch einfach mal aus Jux und Tollerei auf einer Dating-App angemeldet. Ich unterhalte mich gerade auch gerade sehr mit nett einem Mann. Aber irgendwie steigt in mir dann doch Panik auf, falls sich das intensivieren sollte. Ich weiß auch gar nicht, wie es bei mir jemals wieder möglich sein sollte, dass eine Beziehung funktionieren kann. Ich glaube, mein Selbstwert ist immer noch im Keller und wer will schon eine, die mit psychischen Problemen zu kämpfen hat. Zusätzlich bin ich mir auch nicht mehr sicher, ob ich überhaupt wieder mit einem Mann sexuell verkehren möchte ://.

Geht es irgendwem von euch vielleicht ähnlich und kann mir einen Ratschlag nennen? Weiß gar nicht, was ich gerade machen soll. Momentan tendiere ich doch wieder dazu, die Datingapp zu löschen und mich zurückzuziehen 😞.

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u/NeverSurrender1026 — 10 days ago

I know i shouldn't be reading the postcards but i need to know what she's planning (+collecting evidence).

I got a fourth postcard saying: "I've been writing to you since march. I just want a sign of life, please."

She (lives at the other end of the country) suddenly wants contact when her step dad and the family dog died. I probably have to console her so she can feel better about herself.

I tried to commit suicide about 4 years ago and i'm dealing with chronic depression. I'd never try this again and i strongly distance myself from that.

I just called my local police station and i felt made fun of and i don't think they took me serious. I asked if they could somehow make a note in case the authorities from her town should call there to inquire about me. The guy said he couldn't do it and it would be too much effort. He asked if i don't have a friend who could send her a message that i don't want contact.

I'm thinking about going to a lawyer to send her a cease and desist letter. I'm really pissed. I want to enjoy my time off and don't want to deal with such bs.

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u/NeverSurrender1026 — 13 days ago

I don't exactly feel bad about ignoring those attempts from my mother and flying monkeys (aunts) in general...She had enough chances. But i'm a little afraid that my disregard could result in something more serious.

I'm dealing with chronic depression and also tried to commit suicide. In the past i always caved in and reacted to her attempts. But this time i was finally able to block my mom and other family members everywhere. I received three postcards in about a month and i didn't react at all.

My total lack of reaction could maybe make my mother think that something serious could be up with my health again.

I could see her actually calling the cops on me or driving all the way south to pay a spontaneous visit (just thinking about that makes me absolutely nauseous).

I want to avoid such a scenario at all costs. What do you think?

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u/NeverSurrender1026 — 16 days ago