u/NeurergusCrocatus

I am 26 years old. I can't find a way out of this. I have ADHD. With every breath I take, every day I wake up, I feel the need for someone I can dedicate my life to, and it has been this way since a very young age. However, my hope is gradually fading, and the weight of what this makes me feel is getting heavier. I know it has nothing to do with self-love . Also, regardless of their physical appearance or status, I can very easily forget people who show interest in me within a single day; yet, I long for and desire someone I have created in my imagination. Watching funny things, traveling, or engaging in things I enjoy (except for my pets) doesn't feel appealing to me at all. But they all turn into things I yearn to experience when I imagine them with my future wife (who doesn't exist). When I experience something bad, I avoid my feelings and go numb, and I wait for that person to share my pain; when something good happens, I wait for them to share my joy. And i haven't had anybody to do any of this all these years..Telling my friends things or sharing with them doesn't feel appealing to me either. It feels as if struggling and living will only be meaningful if i find "the one" Is there anyone who experiences or feels something similar?