u/Necessary-Bottle-859

My ex and I were together since we were 16, married for 17 years, and I have 2 kids, 17 & 15. We have been divorced for 5 years, he is remarried for 1 year now. Kids have had a rocky relationship with step-mom for various reasons. Ex believes that stepmom should be treated as my equal in everything kid related. 17 year old asked dad if for a surgery consult she was having if just me and dad could go, not step-mom. Dad didn't like that and told her that step-mom needs to be included just as much as mom. 17 year old isn't happy (neither am I). Our relationship has been very high-conflict in the past, looking for a way to tackle this going forward.