I think my roommate is slowly crossing boundaries and I don’t know how to stop it without blowing everything up
I (24M) moved in with my roommate (23F) about 6 months ago. At first everything was great, clean, respectful, we mostly stayed out of each other’s way.
But over time things started getting… weird. Not in an obvious “this is bad” way, just small things that keep piling up.
It started with her borrowing stuff without asking. At first it was harmless, like a phone charger or using my pan. Then it turned into clothes. I came home one day and she was wearing one of my hoodies. I didn’t even know how to react, so I just laughed it off.
Now it’s gotten to the point where she just walks into my room sometimes without knocking. Not often, but enough that I don’t feel comfortable anymore. I’ve tried casually mentioning it like “hey just knock next time,” and she’ll say sorry, but then a week later it happens again.
The part that’s really messing with me is that she’s super friendly about it. Like she acts like we’re way closer than we actually are. She’ll sit on my bed while we talk, grab my stuff mid-conversation, even make comments like “we basically share everything anyway.”
We don’t.
I don’t think she’s doing it to be malicious, which almost makes it harder. If she were being rude or aggressive, I’d just confront it directly. But this feels like she’s slowly normalizing it, and I’m the one who feels awkward for pushing back.
I don’t want to make the apartment tense or start conflict, but I’m also starting to feel like I don’t have my own space anymore.
How do I set clear boundaries here without turning this into a big confrontation? And at what point do I stop being “nice” about it?