i miss someone I haven’t talked to in over 4 years.
I was randomly scrolling through my photos back in 2022-23 and I stumbled upon some messages, photos and memories.
He was one of the most amazing people I’ve met, so emotionally intelligent and would always make me smile. Never a dull moment with him and yet I managed to ruin everything we had. Back then, i was really struggling with depressive episodes, sh, drinking and anxiety, which would lead me to having bursts of rage and say hurtful things that I didn’t mean. He left, and obviously I don’t blame him for it, as I always (still do) want the best for him. Found myself at 3 am trying to find his socials to at least see how he is doing and where he is, but then I backed down as I don’t think this person wants anything to do to me anymore. I do remember in 2024 or maybe late 2023, i tried to reach out again only to be blocked, him saying he doesn’t want to hear from me again. I know it is my fault and I wish I could tell him how sorry I am and that I’ve changed. I’ve healed and been to therapy, to a psychiatrist and I’m different now.
I do wish him all the best but I truly think he forgot about me, and this concept is so weird to me knowing the history and friendship we had.