I was informed about Tourette’s before the BAFTA situation happened. However, I was really displeased with the general response. It was really inappropriate that people were doing the mental gymnastics to redefine what an apology is, when it is warranted, and say that MBJ and Delroy London would be ableist for expecting an apology from Davidson. And with the “apologies” themselves. The opinions of different black people with Tourette’s fell to the wayside, but I was not surprised.
Well it happened to me. Today on my way home from work, a man, left an office building that is directly next to my home, with his colleague. They walked behind me, and one of the men, who I believe may have Tourette’s (based on how he was speaking), called me the nword, repeatedly. Loudly. His friend carried on as normal in between.
They did not attempt to move from behind me, they did not slow down their walking, they just continued until I heard them get into a vehicle (and there was an alternative path to get to the vehicle that would not have involved walking behind me). There was no, “I apologize”, no explanation, nothing.
The city I live in is not big, and I was in shock. It’s so easy to think of what you would do in that situation until it happens to you. I live in an area that has barely any black people, so of course, people just stopped and stared. I went home and have been crying all night while looking up Tourette’s again, and making sense of how I feel. It certainly was not the first time I’ve been called that. And while it is not all white people, it’s always a white person. It was extremely traumatic and brought back flashbacks of all the times that word has been thrown at me.
I refuse to live in fear where I live. I refuse to endure that slur and humiliation. And while I understand it is involuntary, the lack of trying to mitigate it in any way really shocked me. And I don’t accept that I will just have to live with hearing that. I dont like that they are relying on my silence. It is unacceptable.
Tomorrow, I plan to go into the building and speak with the building manager, and ask that this be addressed with him. I looked it up online and there are treatments and therapies available for trying to adjust how you say a certain tic. I plan to ask that he be asked to pursue these or he work from home. There has to be some kind of way to address this. I do not understand how in a situation where someone with Tourette’s can walk down a sidewalk with other people of color that are not black while having a conversation, then see a black person, calls them a slur, and the solution be I just take that. I am afraid to leave my home now, and the fact that I feel like that, is what is prompting me to go the building tomorrow to speak with someone about this.
Any suggestions for how I should frame the conversation?
Should I not do this and instead escalate this further? Should I instead get the management of my building involved and have them reach out to this building to inform them of how their employee is treating their residents? I wonder what the black people who work in his building, if any, have to endure. And if they are even able to speak up given this climate, this particular city, and this job market.
I have spent hours doing additional research into this and I am trying to approach it from the most empathetic and understanding way possible while trying to ensure it is not at the expense of myself.
TLDR : A man, who may have Tourette’s, works in the building next to my home and calls me the nword when I walk home. How should I address it with his building/company? Should I escalate it instead?