Help/advice needed
We have been fostering this young man (9) for almost a year. He came to us unpotty trained. He wore pull ups sometimes during the day but mostly at night. Smeared his poop on every object he could touch. And was unable to go a night without defecating and urinating in bed.
When he moved in we got some fiber in him to make pooping easier, and we got him on a toileting routine. We have seen a lot of progress over time but lately he has regressed so much, like worse than he was when he moved in.
Now not only is he back to having day and night accidents, he now uses his clothes, stuffed animals, and toys to wipe when he “doesn’t feel like going to the bathroom”. We have him wash his own clothes and hand wash the poopy items before they go in the washer as a “natural consequence”, and truly I hoped it would gross him out enough to stop…boy was I wrong. He don’t care and is still getting worse almost daily.
We know it’s not a GI issue or health related issue cause he’s been evaluated. It’s truly just control and lack of motivation.
We are at our wits end with it too cause it’s not just refusal to go or wipe properly, he will try to physically fight us, posture and threaten to hit us, throw things, break things, and cuss at us when we do try to encourage him to go or follow his routine.
We tried several reward systems to encourage him to follow the routine and be kind while doing it and nothing is working.
I’m just looking for some kind of advice or ideas! This kid is pushing us and the organization we work with honestly isn’t helping all that much. Some of them have even denied that we deal with this behavior and it “can’t be really that bad” cause they aren’t seeing it when they spend time with this youth.