u/Muscular_Farmer_

I graduated a couple of years ago and I know that I am objectively doing great. I’m currently an L3 at Google, I have decent work-life balance, and I just successfully delivered a major core infrastructure project that I'm proud of.

Financially, I've been incredibly lucky. Google stock has been on a massive tear lately (pushing near $400), and because I haven't sold any of my RSUs, my initial unvested equity has more than doubled. Locally, among my family and extended circle back home, I am probably the most well-to-do. By every normal metric, I have "made it" and I shouldn't be complaining.

But a couple of my close college friends went the Quant/HFT route (they were ICPC World Finalists), and it’s honestly hard not to feel a sting when I see their trajectory.

* The Compensation: They are pulling in 1.5 Cr+ annual bonuses. Just their bonuses completely dwarf my total compensation, even with my stock appreciation.
* The Lifestyle: They are constantly traveling internationally and living lavishly.
* The Clout: They are heavily featured in their firm's recruitment promo videos and treated like absolute rockstars.

I know there is always a bigger fish. I know HFTs operate on a completely different business model where the pressure is relentless and compensation is tied directly to firm PnL. But when I look at my own steady corporate ladder, I can't help but feel like just another standard cog in the machine compared to them.

How do you all deal with this kind of extreme peer comparison? For those who are doing well but still have friends in that ultra-high-earning tier, how do you successfully recalibrate your mindset so you can just enjoy what you have?

TL;DR: Doing solidly as an L3 at Google with stock that has more than doubled. Locally I'm the most well-off, but I'm struggling with envy watching my brilliant college friends make astronomical 1.5 Cr+ bonuses at top HFTs. Seeking advice on fixing my mindset.

Hi all. I (26M) am in early talks with an AM prospect (26F). Nothing is finalized yet, we are just figuring things out. We align well, but there's one major logistical hurdle I need to evaluate before moving forward.

Her father passed away, so her mother rotates living among her and her two elder sisters. This means if we marry, her mom will live with us for about 4 continuous months every year.

I respect her commitment to her mom, but I'm worried about the impact on our privacy and relationship dynamic, especially in that crucial first year of marriage when we'd be just figuring each other out.

Questions for those who have navigated this:

• How did a 4-month stay affect your newlywed phase and privacy?

• What boundaries worked best to maintain "couple time"?

Is this a deal breaker? Cause now I’ll live with her and her mother. Not sure how to navigate this

Appreciate any brutal honesty and practical tips!