I'm getting married in 3 months and even the word "marriage" make me cry? How to stop it??
I'm getting married in 3 months. But IDK what's wrong with me that even hearing the word marriage makes me have an anxiety attack and cry like a baby.
Everyone is so excited. But I'm literally avoiding doing anything. I haven't started a single preparation yet. I have not been doing any skincare or other stuff brides normally do now-a-days. Not decided outfits or anything.
I see a wedding reel on insta, I cry. When my parents tell me about a ritual , I cry. I see the word "Vidai and Kanyadaan" , I GET A FULL BLOWN ANXIETY ATTACK AND literally stop breathing through my nose (Can't ditch them, parents want to do everything by the book).
The guy is really good. ADORABLE. I love talking to him day and night.He makes me laugh when I'm crying from all this. In-Laws seem like good people but traditional. It's an AM. Plus I have never moved out of my house. I won't be living with the in-laws. Just me and husband.
I always feel like I'm leaving my parents. I am the eldest daughter. And they depend on me so much for many things. I'm very attached to my family and they are quite sentimental people too, So I feel they'll cry a lot at my wedding and it gives me literal nightmares. They thought of leaving my parents and siblings alone, what would they do in circumstances when they need me. And I'll be not there. Not doing the festival preparations with them, when I mostly do so much work, how'll they manage. Parents are getting old too. How will my siblings look after them. My family is simple middle class, they panic so much in emergencies. I am LITERALLY their strength at moments like these.
I hate even imagining the moment of seeing my parents and siblings cry during my wedding just because I'm a girl and I'll have to supposedly leave. EVEN SYMBOLICALLY IN THE RITUALS.
Plus, I'm super antisocial and introvert. I wanted a simple court marriage but alas! it's 500 people and a 6 day function now! How tf am I going to tolerate so many people dancing on my head with all their conservative thoughts and superstitions and rituals!
I don't wanna do anything. I HATE BEING A BRIDE. How do I stop these thoughts? It hurts so much! Like physical chest pain hurt. I know I'm overthinking but I just can't stop!