СЗЧ Dipshits
I recruit for an international battalion and the amount of knuckleheads who try to join after having deserted is staggering! And oh boy do they have all the excuses for why their discharge papers/stamps in green book are missing: my base got blown up, my car was hit by FPVs, my unit never gave me a contract - despite previously saying that they broke contract and left, my dog ate it, etc. Then there is trying to pass off paperwork for random shit as discharge papers, or papers with only their signature, and not the signature and stamp of the commander, on it, as if we won't notice. And if all that fails they either regale me with stories of woe from their personal life, or tell me what a badass one-man-army they are who destroyed legions of spetznas by dick-slapping them to death and tea-bagging their commander.
If you desert, it's probably best to leave Ukraine alone. You thought it sucked before? Try serving with the label of "deserter" hanging around your neck.