Put one of my dogs down less then 6 months after losing wife and it’s scary DeJa VU
So 6 months ago me and my wife were 36 and happily married with our two 12 year old dogs. My wife loved the dogs like they were her children and I loved them as well. They had been a bonded pair for 10 plus years now and never been separated. Well end of November my wife is perfectly healthy and one night just has a brain aneurism and collapsed. Next day I am told by doctors she went 25 mins without oxygen and this is really bad and then 24 hours after that I have to remove life support and she’s gone. It’s been a living hell and I have been holding into my two poor fur babies for support this whole time.
Last Friday morning one of the dogs suddenly became very sick, wouldn’t eat, and was looking rough. I eventually got her to eat and she moved around a little after puking but brought dog in Saturday morning. That’s when they say she has cancer bad and she is internally bleeding and it’s bad. I bring her home for weekend and her health falls apart super fast in next 48 hours. I brought her in Monday and the doctors confirmed what I knew and I had them come to my house to put her down so my other dog could see and understand. I truly believe she realized what happened to my wife the night it happened and before I did.
The problem now is I am beyond broken. It’s hard enough for first 6 months without spouse but to lose one of your dogs you came home to every night so you wouldn’t be alone? I even had talk with them after my wife died about it would be the 3 of us and now one dog is left with no sister and no mother. I fear she won’t last much longer from all this stress and I will be left w/ none of my family. It’s hitting like DeJa Vu though because wife and dog were fine, got very sick one day and few days later they are gone. I mean I was barely holding on before and now I feel like I have no humanity left. I feel like I could walk up an mug someone walking by and not even feel guilt about it. Theirs no god or karma in this world. I mean I just realized being good doesn’t get you good things and there is certainly no fairness in the world so why not be a complete asshole? I was the happiest guy 6 months ago and always tried to do what’s right but now it all seems pointless. If this can happen twice in half a year, then surely I could steal or be a shit head to others and nothing will come of it? I never deserved this type of pain and it’s cruel to expect me to bury 50 percent of my household in 6 months. Sorry had to vent