u/Motor-Barnacle313

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

I hope you all are doing well, I’ve been away from Reddit for a good while but a certain thoughts been on my mind. So I wanted to ask the brothers and sisters but mainly the brothers on here about it.

I recently took my local mosque’s sheikh and some other haji/guys to dinner. We talked about a lot of things from normal mundane things to politics and lots of different Islamic topics. One of which was the topic of marriage, keeping your wife happy, how to choose a right spouse, and so on. Then I asked the sheikh about the cost of this day and age marriage and what we (mainly myself and this other single brother) should try to save up for it in this day and age.

Honestly, the sheikh threw in a bit of shocking number to us which we weren’t expecting. He said if you want to marry then at have a 100k Australian dollars available for just a wedding and this got me thinking.

1 - am I being stingy to think 100k is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a wedding?

2 - what do other people who might have had their sibling or have had a past marriage think is a normal amount to spend on their wedding?

Frankly in the Australian economy, saving 100k is very hard especially for people who might not have a father or older siblings to help them out. What do you guys think would be a reasonable amount?

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

I’ve asked the question in title because I’ve been going through something for the past roughly 2 weeks. I’m honestly feeling extremely numb, lost and guilty over what has happened. Like most of us, I’ve been on the lookout for a partner for a long time and about 2 weeks ago, I was approached by someone from Reddit. We talked and we really got along way too fast. She looked like she was everything I wanted in a partner so I was hesitant a little bit on slowly down the flow of conversation so I don’t come off as not being interested in her.

Now what I feel soo regretful about is that due to us being so compatible mostly she being agreeable type now that I’m thinking about it. We talked a bit too freely without going into details, like amongst conversations of kids, living expectations and so on we also talk about partner related subjects. It was a bit too terrifying for me as I felt like I was being led by the nose as she was agreeing with almost everything I would say regardless of how over the top I would be at times on purpose to see if she will pull away or not. It was too much so I ended the whole thing but now I’m just feeling so empty, numb and regretful over how that whole process went.

I’m not regretful that I ended but I’m regretful that I even started that whole conversation and accepted the request. I wasn’t going to say anything but wallah the guilty feelings are killing on the inside and i don’t know how to deal with it. So you guys who have had long talking stages or those who were engaged, how do you guys deal and move on from this? Especially after sharing your personal information not only about yourself but family, future plans, and so on with them?