(18m) How do I go about breaking up with my gf (19f) of 3 years
Hi, I’m 18M and I’ve been dating my girlfriend (19F) for about three years. We started dating in our sophomore year of high school, and we even ended up going to the same university. We also went through about 11 months of long distance, which we managed to get through.
Lately, though, I’ve been struggling a lot in the relationship. I feel like I’m constantly changing or suppressing parts of myself just to make her happy, and it’s starting to make me feel inauthentic. On top of that, since starting university and pursuing a double major, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and want to focus more on my future. I know that might sound like an excuse, but I genuinely feel like I don’t have the capacity to balance everything the way I used to.
Recently, she’s also been more negative toward me, making critical comments and often comparing me to how I was earlier in our relationship, back when I had more free time in high school. The problem is, I’ve grown and changed since then, and I can’t realistically go back to being that same person. She's also very controlling in a way where whenever I want to have some alone time shes like "why wouldn't you use that time for me?" And nowadays I just don't have any time for myself and I have to go behind her back and lie to her just to make some time which I'm super guilty about.
Our families are also very close, which makes everything feel even more complicated.
At this point, I feel like I might be staying in the relationship more to meet her expectations than because it’s right for me. I also find myself thinking that she might deserve someone better, which makes me feel guilty and conflicted.
I’m not really sure where to go from here or how to approach this situation. Any advice would be appreciated.