u/Mito_03

Lost a promotion. Idk why but it might be due to a previous situation with an employer I had to tell a couple ppl about. Might not be. I legit have no idea and I’ll talk to hr about it. Regardless, I was expecting an announcement with me as one of the top employees, because another employer told me I would be getting the promotion a couple days ago. Everyone saw that list without my name on it.

Do I just sit back and take it if I don’t get a straight answer as to why I now don’t have that promotion? It’s probably something they’ll fix when I bring it up, but I think it’s hard for me to cope with the announcement itself not saying my name. I did double the amount of work for it, and other stuff has been happening to my career that honestly seems a tad targeted given other stuff I probably shouldn’t get into again. Don’t worry, I’ve talked to others about it. I’m just mad I don’t get seen for what I deserve.

With external validation, do any of you guys have any tips for maintaining an equilibrium between still caring about yourself and fighting for yourself in situations where you’ve been pushed down by a *bully* of sorts, but also not letting not getting what you deserve get to you? It’s one thing to seethe internally, it’s another thing when it’s my career, and when I didn’t do anything to NOT deserve this promotion I was told I would get. It feels like having your birthday ruined by someone else blowing out the candles and telling you that you never deserved the cake in the first place when you sat there and made it while everyone else just had someone buy one for them.

I think I might have been intentionally left off a list for a major promotion. I don’t know this yet and I’m trying not to panic, but if I was and it’s because I did the right thing by coming forward about the behavior of an employer to preserve the ethicality of my workplace, I will be in a position where I or my friends will show everyone the very reasons I did not get that promotion…debate on if that’s a good idea or not is off the table. I’ll ask tomorrow, I legit might have just messed something up along the way or they forgot my name out of everybody on the list for some reason which tbh is very likely, but onto the literal post topic as that was just a vent:

How do you deal with being left out of major situations where you deserve recognition without overblowing it/“losing your mind?” I guess a lot of it would need to be telling yourself that you have enough internal worth, but we people with this disorder literally just expect recognition, so when it’s a situation where you were told you would get recognition but aren’t for some reason, do you just calmly accept it if you don’t get an answer as to why?

If you can tell, I’m rambling quite a lot. Probably because this is a major trigger for me. This is one of those things that people without this disorder might not get, so hopefully you guys have some advice. External validation is a necessity that shouldn’t be overlooked for us. It’s the root of all my motivation as well as anxiety, and I want to get what I rightfully deserve but also don’t want to be dependent on it. Happy medium?