u/MimiTheWitch

I have been feeling rather demoralized lately with the practice. This is due to struggles in other areas of my life, but the path feels insurmountable while I stand here near the beginning (solid 5 precepts and celibacy, dabbling in the 8 precepts)

I wonder if I just need an attitude adjustment. Instead of seeing "this is where I'm falling short" perhaps I could see "look at how much I've already given up." What are others thoughts? Words of encouragement?

I have an upcoming surgery and I'm wondering if taking opioid painkillers afterwards is wise. Are medicinal intoxicants mentioned in the commentary at all?

Lately I have been struggling much with anxiety and fear. I have been spending time with it and trying not to act out of it (mentally or physically) but I feel stuck.

This anxiety has been triggered by my life essentially falling apart; I got sick, lost my job, and now likely have to go on disability insurance. Alongside all of this anicca and dukkha there has arisen a strong desire to control my life and have things remain the same, yet I see first hand that everything is impermanent and outside my control.

I wonder what advice HH or this community might have. Is it simply not acting out of the fear? Do I just need patience to grieve all these things I clung to? (It does seem to be getting better over the last month) Or should I focus more on recollecting anicca or some other dhamma?

Thank you friends.