u/Midkip-

Something like eternally regressing knight something where the character actually grows and doesn't just wake up as a top 10

I'm 18 but yet I have zero idea what I want to do zero ideas for work or any of that. And I hear people who know what they want who know they want to do something even if it's small but I don't.

There is sometimes I want to get a new hobby sometimes I want to do something but I hold myself at such high expectations when I do and when it doesn't meet those impossible standards the desire dies. Most recently was art I wanted to learn how to draw and I did well for a time but then it just died. Same with making games and making YouTube videos which I'm still trying but the Desire to work on is slowly draining. I have no ambition no drive to do anything to push myself to do anything and I don't know how to fix that. I don't want to end up working as a cashier or fast food employee for my whole life but I have no ambition to work towards something larger.

I feel like I get overshadowed in the mountain of effort I feel like all this work to meet my impossibly high standards for myself. Where it gets to the point that the desire to top it isn't enough my drive and energy to climb what I thought was a hill wasn't enough. And it ends up beating this idea in my head that that's all I'm good for, and it makes the next attempts harder easier to turn around before I get high enough.

With art which was the last thing that happened, I saw how big the mountain of effort i was prepared for but it was still more than I imagined. But I clung on I kept trying I did methods that help like look at the small hill you're climbing and not the mountain as a whole but I always looked up i saw how far the top was and how close the ground was. I get into my head and tell myself that I can just walk away from it walking away is easier than climbing, choose something else.

All my ambition, all my desire to move forward is non-existent. I do well in school when I do try but I barely try, I tell myself to do the easiest thing because it's home school. I tried normal school something I thought that I couldn't just give up halfway through but they completely denied my credits which meant I had to leave.

Zero ambition but want to not be at rock bottom. A desire to not barely survive but zero ambition to work towards something higher, then I give in. Then I prove to myself I am absolutely what I say I am as lazy and I'm never going anywhere

I don't know how to get ambition I don't know how. I'm scared I'll just keep proving myself I'm right and everyone else with hope Is wrong that my zero ambition will lead me to falling head first until I'm too old to go back on it. Till I'm so old and all the regret of not having an ambition ruins me and then that regret proves to me more that I'm useless

I've recently had another time where I try to workout and lose weight I'm almost 70ish pounds overweight for my height and age and I have a really hard time staying consistent

I've been working out for about 4 days just around when I wake up 10 pushups 10 squats 10 leg ups and 25 situps but should I have a rest day is that important I'm so scared I'll do a rest day and then the habit slowly crumbles and I really don't want that to happen. I've always been a procrastinator and if I say I will do it tomorrow it just moves back and back and I don't know how to change that for myself