Is it already over?
My husband and I have been in couples therapy on and off for a couple of years, to help us navigate a number of issues. I also have an individual therapist, but he refuses to go because “it won’t help.” We keep falling back into the same cycle of blame and poor communication. I’m by no means perfect, but I’m trying. However, I feel like he’s just over it and acting the way he is so that I end it and he doesn’t need to be the bad guy. He told me last year that he wasn’t in love with me but still had love for me, and was committed to trying to improve the relationship. Not many actions to back up the words, unfortunately. He tolerates me enough to want to be intimate, but I don’t feel like he even likes me anymore Nevermind is falling in love.
Most recently, after the latest disagreement, We’ve hardly spoken for the last week, except small things to do with the kids and then an argument started in front of one of them (which I shut down). I cry every night in the shower and cry myself to sleep almost every night. He never reaches out to me. Whenever we fight, he stonewalls me until I give in and start the convo (could be days or more than a week). He blames me for everything and can never acknowledge his own contributions to issues. I’ve been sick a lot lately (not sleeping, stressed out) and he, not once, has asked if I need anything or if I’m ok. In turn, neither have the kids. I am sick to my stomach at the example my kids are getting from him about how to treat a partner, and from me on how to be treated. I don’t have a lot of support and don’t know what to do - I don’t think I can afford to leave. How much longer do I keep repeating this cycle? Any advice welcome.
Tl;dr Husband seems over the relationship but I can’t afford to leave (I work full time and make my own money but we are in a very expensive city). Don’t know what to do.