Struggling to deal with my first breakup of an IRL Kink relationship
I [M32 Switch] had been seeing my partner [F34 Switch] for 18 months and it came to an end last week.
I was totally new to kink when we first met, she wasn't. It changed my life - I felt like I'd found part of myself that had always been missing. When we first me we were both fresh out of other relationships so didn't want anything serious, or with a label, or exclusive. It worked for us!
Over time, we became really close outside of the bedroom and feelings developed. We still didn't want a label or exclusivity though. It was going great. Then last week she messaged to say she'd met someone new and wanted to see where this new relationship goes....I don't think I even realized how deep my feelings for her had become I've been so upset since. We met up to talk it out and there's no bad blood...I'm just devastated! Sadder still because I've never had this kind of dynamic/connection with anyone else before...and it's hard for me to feel like I'll ever have this again. The very thought of having that kind of trust/intimacy with someone else just makes me feel so sad for what I've lost.
I've also been dealing with a recent bereavement of someone very dear to me which really hasn't helped things. The only thing that makes me happy is my job but I'm spending so much time/energy there that I'm going to burn out...but when I'm alone with my thoughts when not working...all can think of is her.
I moved for this job and don't really know anyone where I live - friends and family are supportive but they're a long way away and don't understand/know about the lifestyle element .
What can I do to feel better? Is finding another partner like that even possible? I just can't believe that kind of connection will come again...It truly was one of a kind!