u/MessWide6637

For context, I’m 28M from Andhra and currently living in Canada. And while I don’t make a lot, I do decent enough as per Canadian standards, also given it is my first job.

Looks wise, I would say a 5-6/10? I do have a receding hairline but it’s not so visible in the pictures. Also, I’m now trying to embrace being bald, which my pictures don’t show at the moment. I’m trying to build an aesthetic physique before I really make it my permanent look. Physique wise I have a normal build- neither lean nor fat.

I initially put in a lot of effort into writing my bio (it was long). I later realized that most of the profiles are managed by parents so I thought it would be overkill. So I trimmed it down, while still trying to give a description about myself. I’ve put no filters (except for location - India or Canada only) and that I was open to all preferences from my potential partner.

To my surprise, I’ve received only 1 interest so far, that too from someone when I first created my profile. I really liked her physically, but unfortunately our preferences didn’t align (I want to be Childfree) so I had to let her go. I still feel sad for this.

Apart from that, people view my profile but I receive no interests at all. I also recently edited my bio about my preference to be Childfree (to be transparent), so I’m not sure if that is making things even worse for me.

In all honesty, I’m just dead man. I have no hope for the future. I feel sad for my parents who wish to see me married

Hear me out. I’m a guy in my late 20s, living alone in this French town where I don’t speak the language (still trying to learn, French is difficult guys).

The first year - I was living in a studio. It felt nice the first couple of months and when winter arrived, I saw hell. I didn’t make any friends because of the language barrier, and I ended up staying alone in my apartment most of the time. I was gazing at the 4 walls around me, doomscrolling my phone and thinking what a miserable life this is. I then felt the need to move to a bigger apartment not only to feel comfortable but also because I don’t have any space. I thought I could invite people over to my place to hangout (lol).

The second year - I moved to a 1 bedroom apartment. It’s close to work - 15 minute walk. However it’s far away from the city centre and I need to take a 30 minute bus to go there (for socializing or whatever). The first few months were solid, and I was really doing good. I was working out, running etc. Also began going socializing a bit and made, let’s say acquaintances. Winter arrives - I go through the same depression again. This time it felt even worse, maybe because I’m already going through something internally and it just brought everything back. I didn’t feel like doing anything - working out, going to work, cooking, cleaning, any activity at all. It was HELL 2.0.

Now it is almost summer again, and this time I’m trying to socialize even more. But something isn’t right. I still often feel tired, sad about my situation (feeling like I’m stuck, not able to get dates, make friends, feeling included around people at work, etc). One week will be very good- I work hard, socialize, spend quality time. The second week everything falls apart - I go doomscrolling, stress eat, leave the apartment as a mess, don’t sleep properly, etc.

One thing is for certain - moving into a bigger apartment didn’t change shit for me.

Then what is it? Is it a lack of purpose? Am I just lazy? Am I depressed? Or I’m just complaining?

Can anyone relate to any of this? Idk if this post even makes any sense.

I work at this company where the primary language is French. I’m on the software side, so people speak English with me if they need to communicate something specific.

In the meantime (it’s been 2 years now), I also made efforts to learn the language. However, all my confidence shatters whenever I try to speak in French with my colleagues. Because they speak too fast and it’s very hard to comprehend what they’re saying. Despite all this, I still try to communicate with them a little bit here and there in French.

But here’s the problem - When it’s a team meeting or when there are more than 3 people, the discussion is always in French. They only switch to English when it’s something that concerns me. As a result, I feel like I’m left out a bit. I’m not able to share my thoughts like the others are able to and I’ll be a mute spectator in the meetings.

My manager in our 1:1 did point out once that he expects me to talk during team meetings, and when I subtly mentioned to him about the language being the problem, he suggested that I ask people to repeat what they said in order to understand better. But how could I? I would have to stop them multiple times and this would annoy the heck out of them.

Today, we had lunch organized outside of work as someone is leaving the company. I felt so awkward sitting there for the whole lunch and I only opened my mouth 2 times during the whole lunch. I was just looking at everyone and giving some fake smiles. I felt like a piece of shit, ngl.

I already feel like an outsider at work because of my skin colour and now this is making my life even more miserable each passing day. And I have no one to talk about it as I live alone. Hence I’m here for advice.

What would you do differently if you were in my situation? Apart from trying to learn and improve in speaking the language, is there anything I can do here?