Hi. This happened a few years ago, and I definitely ignored it until recently. The details are very hazy.
Basically when I was a senior in high school I started dating another person my same age. I moved across the country (USA) and we went long distance. In October my partner came and visited me at school.
(I was on a medication that made me sleep like 16 hours a day. Plus I was sick on and off. I lost like 10lbs, and the campus clinic sent me to the ER by ambulance they were so worried.) I was feeling better, but not healthy when my partner visited.
It was an expectation that I slept with them since they traveled all that way. I definitely did not feel up to it, but they guilted me into it. I don’t remember all of the details, but know I was not enjoying what happened. (I definitely did not say yes, probably didn’t say anything. I kinda shut down) afterwards I think I cried but I don’t remember. A few months later we broke up and I haven’t thought about it since. I am finally seeing someone else now 3 years later, and everything was going fine. We have been intimate before, but the last time I just shut down and started bawling my eyes out. My partner now obviously stopped and it’s all ok. This led to me talking to my therapist and my ex came up. I’m not sure if what happened counts as SA, but it didn’t feel great. Anyway, I’m just really struggling. Like does it count as SA even though we were together? If it’s not why do I feel so gross? Thanks in advance