u/Meowieeeee_

First time ko magsolo date ng gabi sa coffee shop

First time ko magsolo date ng gabi sa coffee shop

First time ko idate sarili ko sa ganitong klase ng lugar. Coffee shop sya na parang nasa Antipolo pero sa QC lang yan.

Hindi maganda pasok sakin ng taon kasi una kong problem agad is sa pamilya ko. Then, sa work. Sobrang stress and burnout then nitong April, lumipas lang yung birthday ko, after non iniwan ako ng boyfriend ko. Now, wala na kong sigla at mukhang ihaharap sa mga tao sa paligid ko. Mas may gana pa ko to go out alone and dun umiyak. Tipong kulang nalang lapitan ako ng stranger at iask ako if okay lang ako. Pero naka normalize sa mukha at expression ko na "yes umiiyak ako and di ako okay, but wag mo na ko tanungin kung bakit pls". Hindi ko first time maiwan ng partner during my lowest point pero ang sakit sakit parin pala hahaha skl.

By the way ang cute lang din na mas may rooftop pa yung cafe na pinuntahan ko kasi nakatago yung manipis at maliit na hagdan paakyat and yung staff ang nag suggest na dun ako pumwesto para gumaan daw pakiramdam ko. Pwede rin akong sumigaw and umiyak nang umiyak. Mararamdaman mong valid pakiramdam mo pero syempre di ako sumigaw XD.

Nakakagulat lang din kasi may gantong coffee shop parin pala na mababait lahat ng staff and very welcoming. Medyo pricey pero ang worth it. Babalik ako here.

u/Meowieeeee_ — 2 days ago

To my greatest love

Hi love,

Nakakamiss ka pala tawagin sa call signs natin. Sanay na ko na bago matulog, may magpapatulog sakin. Yung expected kong may mag aantay sakin at manonood tayo ng series. But rn, insomnia attack ulit. Kahit saan ako magpunta, nakikita ko yung memories natin. Kung pano mo ko sunduin sa work, what's on my mind while inaantay kita. And kung anong kakainin natin next date. I really miss you so much. The 'you' with spark on eyes. Yung ngiti mo. I really miss everything about you, J.

I'm still in pain but I don't hate you for choosing yourself. I will never hate you. Maybe I hate that I'm the thing you had to choose against. That I became something you needed to escape instead of someone you wanted to run toward when your world is falling apart.

Hypocrite if I said that I won't blame myself but one thing I hate about me is yung regret na I didn't became someone you can call your safe space. I feel like di ko talaga nagawa yung best ko para maging comfortable ka enough to communicate things with me. I should be more understanding and someone you can call your "home". Only if I could go back in time, kung pareho lang ako sa mga chinese drama clip na nasa reels or tiktok na narereincarnate. Takte aayusin ko talaga lahat and hindi tayo aabot sa ganto. But, nasa reality tayo and nangyari na lahat.

About you for leaving, pls know that I'm okay with it. I'm slowly accepting it and I'm still proud of you kasi it took a lot of courage para umalis at piliin ang sarili. I hope you will find the happiness that you deserve. That you will bring back your spark and love na nawala sayo ngayon.

I'm still here, and I always be here.

I don't expect you to comeback especially ngayon kasi tama ka na we will just hurt each other kung lalo pa to papatagalin. Tinatanggap ko na..

I hope, in God's perfect time, pagtagpuin tayo ulit and this time we're on the best version of ourselves. Hindi parin maalis sakin na babalik ka soon at tayo parin. But I'm not pressuring you to do it kasi I don't want to be loved and chosen out of guilt. At ayoko ng nagpepretend nalang. I want to meet the real you again and kahit bumalik pa sa simula, okay na okay yon.

I love you so much, my soulmate. Always, in all ways.

I'm always here for you.

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u/Meowieeeee_ — 3 days ago

Hi love!

If you're reading this, we're probably in the middle of our conversation about sa relationship natin. Or pwede ring tapos na tayo mag usap. (Edit: di ko pala nasend kahapon kasi di ko parin maprocess yung napag usapan natin).

I hope you won't give up easily. I hope we can give a chance to our relationship dahil we can compromise naman. We can still work it out. Pwede tayong mag adjust, and lastly, pwede nating sabihin sa isa't isa yung nararamdaman natin. We can work on this together. Trust me on this please. And hindi rin kita susukuan.

Kakatapos ko lang ayusin yung photobooths and yung flowers na bigay mo. I'm currently reading all of your lover letters as well. Mix emotions. I'm happy, and at the same time I'm sad. Natatawa pa ako sa drawings mo of sad and heart emoji. It's so cute. You never failed to give me butterflies. I'm so happy na na experience ko yun sayo. You're so sweet love.

Love, I'm so scared. Takot na takot ako this past few days. I can't imagine my life without you. Di ko alam pano ko magsisimula at pano magiging okay because of this. I don't want you to leave. Di ko kaya... If I'm being selfish dahil dito, then so be it. I would rather be selfish than to lose you. I'm afraid of waking up without your presence. Naiisip ko palang pakshet bumabaliktad na sikmura ko. I really can't. I don't want to lose you.

I hope our love is greater than the misunderstanding, arguments and challenges of our relationship. I'm always praying na sana mas maging strong pa yung relationship natin. I'm always praying na you will stay. May God lead and guide us to be a better version of ourselves—together.

Baby, please stay with me. Please stay.

I love you more than anyone and I want you.

Life will be nothing without you.

It's a letter na sinulat ko last week while inaayos yung mga pinreserve kong flowers. Di ko na nabigay kahit ilang oras tayo magkausap. But one thing I realized is never ako susuko sa relationship natin. Kahit gano pa to kahit at katagal. I'll do my best to save us.

-Riri

reddit.com
u/Meowieeeee_ — 8 days ago