I'm a 29F who just broke up with my 34M boyfriend. I brought up an unresolved issue wherein he compared me to his exes of 9 years ago, saying that they were better than me. I expressed that it still hurts me, and I asked if he could help me recover from that. Then the conversation led to him yelling at me, and saying that it's all my fault for feeling emotions, and that I am selfish for expressing my needs to him.
I asked him "Do you think that we will be able to heal in this relationship?" And he responded "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS, I ONLY CARE ABOUT MINE." And then I asked "Do you think you will heal in this relationship?"
He responded by saying "I won't be able to heal if you won't stop nagging about your feelings, you're selfish. I would pick my bestfriend over you anyday. I would even rather be with a woman who would give me peace, someone who doesn't talk about their feelings."
And then I responded a bit cold to him "If that's how you really feel, then let's not waste our time in this relationship." He paused for a while, and then I asked "Do you have anything else to say?" He said he had nothing to say. And I said "Okay, I hope you heal." I ended the call and blocked him everywhere. I've been conditioned to not say a lot to him, because I'm always walking in eggshells. And then, I didn't expect him to send me an email wherein he said "I'm hurting you because you made me like this. I expectsd you to heal me, but you are so selfish. Thanks for ruining me." I didn't reply to his email, I just blocked him.
Here I am, crying all day, I can't focus with work. I keep questioning myself, if I deserved this? I keep questioning myself, I have been so damaged and lost my self-esteem, and my worth.