I am beginning my first season of wildland firefighting after aiming to be a structural firefighter, and though it is still my intention as of currently I'm wondering how the jump has been for others and those in the opposite path of me
Hello everybody I am currently a wildland firefighter and have been going down the structure firefighting path since I graduated high school and while I was working on my EMT whenever I'd see trauma or autopsies and saw what was likely to be or already was photos of people who have passed on it always gave me such a dull feeling inside. my own death isn't what concerns me as I think I largely don't understand it and it's just beyond my comprehension but to see photos of people where not one thought was going through their minds and their bodies has began to shut down and from there on our their body will only become less "them" and more what they came from as they break down into the earth beneath us. I think of old athletes or musicians and wonder how much of them is left, how is it that if i want to visit once such brilliant minds today their own brain is gone and only the frame which once held it remains. How can once such beautiful voices be lost forever, never to make another sound? How can a person filled with such emotion and thought be entirely lost into the earth? I struggle to look past the fact that while I only live my own life and everything that becomes a part of it feels permanently tied to my identity but as those people die off what remains of what I once loved, the love I had for these people can never be expressed through me and the beauty and joy of those people will inevitably be forgotten as memories grow more distant with each passing generation.
It all makes me feel so small, an entire life filled with emotions I couldn't describe even if words allowed is simply the smallest gear of this cycle, one due to be retired and disposed of in time.
sorry if this read as disjointed this was all just a big barf of words. with that i hope you all are doing well and can find happiness and purpose in your time here