Just busted partner of 7 years cheating with an escort.
Edit Sorry, this is very long winded. My mind has been spinning with compounding realizations, and it's a bit hard to stay on track at the moment. The TLDR is basically the title.
A bit of backstory to help you understand how profoundly devastating today's revelation is.
We first became roommates during a particularly rough time in my life where I was dealing with some unresolved trauma involving my son's father and our separation. It was nice, him and his ex got along and he took on her kids as his own, which at the time I really admired. I became good friends with him and his ex, and everything was good for a while. I was still a new first-time mom, and postpartum really had me isolated, so having anyone to talk to... I can't find the words to do justice for the feeling it gave me. I guess simply put, I felt like a human again.
Then we moved to a bigger place so there was more room for the kids when he had them. It was maybe a month in the new place before his ex found herself in a living situation crisis, and asked to have the kids stay for a bit. A bit turned into months, and then covid hit, and we found ourselves getting closer by the day. By the end of the pandemic, I had homeschooled the kids and been primarily responsible for their care, and they started seeing me as a mom. My son loves them so much, too. He doesn't really remember a life without them.
I could go on and on about everything in between, but it's more recent events that are actually relevant. This month has been a very stressful one. I've recently started an independent cleaning business, which has been going alright, but is still overwhelming as I learn to navigate the business aspect. I've also been working non-stop during my free time to prepare my home to accommodate a bunch of family coming from back east for my brother's wedding. My son's dad went all month without seeing him because his truck broke down and he needed his free time to work on it, so having him full time instead of 70/50 cut into a lot of pre-designated prep time, but this has been resolved recently. I am also supposed to be baking for my brother's wedding too. I've been really stretched thin, but I've managed to miraculously pull off A LOT.
Yesterday was my partner's birthday and Mother's Day, and I had pooled together with my family to get him a PS5, then we had the family get together to celebrate him. It was a nice night, and although I was relieved and exhausted once it was over, I still made sure to give him extra birthday attention when we were alone.
This morning he left for work abnormally early. Initially I didn't think too much of it, but I did clock it as unusual. My son stayed at his dad's house last night to make up for lost time, but he drops him off with me in the morning because I don't start work until 9, where he starts at 7. This morning my son was excited to tell me he saw his stepdad on a particular road that is extremely long, but has a section that intercepts with my partners work. I asked if he saw him outside his work having a smoke and he said no, and named an intersection far up from his work. When I called him and asked why he left so early, he said he wanted to get things ready ahead of time at work. When I mentioned my son saw him, he claimed he was out having a smoke on the side that faces the road my son had mentioned. He didn't know that I knew what specific intersection he was spotted at, so I knew he had just lied to me about his whereabouts and reasoning.
I stayed cool and did some digging and realized the site Leoslist had been recently accessed on the router. I went to the site, and on the first page found an escort in the precise area he was spotted early this morning. When I confronted him, he said my son was mistaken. Then it was that he was getting me a gift. Then it was a pity party about my lack of trust. Then it was "going to look at a new car for me".... At 6AM?! Then I bluntly told him what I thought and he admit it once I said her name. He claimed he couldn't go through with it, but after hearing dozens of lies, his words mean nothing. I know he's just minimizing the reality because he knows the only thing I can't possibly know is what happened once he was inside her house. She was his daughter's age.
Now I have 100 cookies and brownies to bake. extended family arriving to stay at my house in 3 days, my brother's wedding is in 5 days, and the dirtbag who flipped my life upside down and tore our family apart still felt entitled enough to take the PS5 I was now planning on selling for rent.
What a fucking day.