u/Memingful

Recently a relative (18M) came to spend time with my family (my family lives in a fairly progressive area in a Western country), his family wants him to study abroad. He has been officially diagnosed with ASD and ADHD after he came here. He had very strong symptoms since childhood, but his family never got him any help or interference prior.

I recently noticed he would say a lot of things that really would not fly in a western country. For example calling people from certain countries "low quality labour", and refusing to use certain things if they had labels of being made in certain countries (Made in China is a big one). He is also obsessed with his own genetic make up and has on multiple occasions asked for an ancestry test to see if he has been "racially polluted", and says things like "I don't consider [x ethnicity] a civilized people", usually based on the economic development of a geographical area. He also blames many failures or struggles in his life in genetics (it used to be scouring through every relative's medical records, but now it became a racial thing).

His parents never let him get the ancestry test but they also don't really believe in autism/have severe denial issues and refused to get him any professional help. Although we told him to not say such things in public if he wants to go to school in a western country, when he speaks to his parents he still talks about it constantly and his parents do tell him off, but only in a "it'll ruin your studies and career" way not a "you shouldn't believe something like that" way.

I'm at a loss on what to do, his parents don't want him to get professional help or even accessibility services that colleges offer, they got upset at my family (and in the past, other relatives as well) for trying to get him support or at least get some interference. He's never been properly treated and because his family was relatively well off, they used money/a lot of time to push him though life, they basically forced him to do the bare minimum to appear functional but now despite being high functioning their kid is very emotionally immature and is hyperfixated on very questionable ideology without any interference.

And yes I can see a lot of this is caused by bad parenting since I genuinely believe even if he did not have autism the parenting would have messed the kid up as well. But I still want to do something even if I wasn't in his life until he's an adult now. I have no one to turn to anymore because everyone else (including other people in the family) have already given up on the kid and his parents as a lost cause.