I need some advice...
I've been my dad's sole caregiver for 6 years (dementia) and I'm struggling HARD with fatigue and burnout. He won't allow others to help (he becomes combative) and while it's nice to feel needed, I feel like I'm becoming invisible. I'm essentially on call 24/7 and my anxiety has consumed me. I've moved past depression and feel myself becoming unbearably bitter. I'm so short tempered that I annoy myself and feel like I'm living in survival mode where EVERYTHING feels like a veiled insult or attack... And I had this horrible realization that THIS is my life until either my dad passes or I do...
So, I come to you all for advice.
-How do you maintain compassion? Genuinely?
-How can I talk my mind out of bitterness and instead realize this is time with my dad I'll never get back?
-How can I decompress when I can't leave him alone?
-How can I cope with the loss of my own identity?
I apologize this post sounds so conceited and whiny...I'm just at a loss how to cope anymore and I see there's no positive ending or magic "cure" that will make everything okay...I just need to look at this from a different angle I can't seem to find on my own.
I just...I need advice from others who've been through it.
Thank you.