Hello, I'm new here. I just want to vent and also get some supportive words or advice which you guys see fit for this situation.
So trying to keep this very short but probably fail. My partner and I are relatively young, we both live with our parents atm because we can't afford living alone.
A lot has happened, but basically I have felt that she doesn't fully support/understand me, she ignores a lot of messages which have been about mine or my partner's mental health (there was a point it was needed to discuss). Every time I visit there, she doesn't make any effort to get to know me (to be fair, me neither, because I have always felt somewhat unsafe around her, like I can't fully be myself, but I can't explain why). I also never received "thank you" from her or the other parent, even though I have cared a lot for the kids, sometimes it feels like more than her, at least in an emotionally supportive way.
She often treats the family badly and basically shit hit the fan at the point where I started to talk to my partner's underaged siblings that like "you know you don't have to be responsible for this and that, and you know you can always talk to me and that's not ok for parents to do". Stuff like that, because I feel like they don't even understand things in their home are not normal and fine. So she saw those messages and said to my partner's sibling that they can't talk to me anymore about what's going on in their home. I talked with one of the siblings also and they were just defending their parents. I feel like this situation also did a lot of damage to my relationship with my partner's siblings, because now I need to fake (can't take care or open their eyes). And I don't like to be around people who are also faking (can't talk to me openly anymore) and who I can't trust (showing my messages, defending abusive behavior). I know it's not their fault as teenagers but I just feel unnatural around them now and feel like even their presence makes damage to my wellbeing, even though it might be just that I take my anger of their mom on them, which isn't ok.
After that, my partner finally addressed their home issues at home and more shit hit the fan. She started to talk shit about my partner and I, very rude stuff and also mocked our disabilities and how I have turned my partner against their family. My partner is in an awful spot, they can't talk anymore openly, because they most likely will be sent to the street and they don't have anyone who could help. I can't take them to live with me and my family either and we're not at that point anyway in our relationship to live together.
So after that I sent a short and informative message to her, thanking her for a constructive feedback about me behind my back (sarcasm). I also said that I'm not coming to visit them anymore. She read that immediately but didn't respond. My partner said how she then said I'm childish because of not visiting them anymore and basically hate talked me for few days and after that she was again complaining in a more positive manner how they would like me to come over. A few days after that I blocked her because I knew it's best for my wellbeing to not hear whatever she would say, if she would. Damage is done already, I'm not looking that shit anymore.
Some time goes by and I note that she most likely has blocked me back (I can't see her profile pic anymore but others can). I feel that she's acting very immature because in my opinion, she doesn't have any reason to block me, just her ego which can't handle any criticism because everything is other people's fault and how much she has done for the family and manipulative stuff like that. Now she tries to do better at home but I'm very suspicious and cynical, I feel like it's just an act to make things more normal for a while so everyone forgets what happened. Also I noted that she had blocked? me in a very interesting timing, when my partner was away from home for a few days. I might be crazy but I feel like she probably talked more shit about me/us in that time, it doesn't feel like a coincidence.
And what is awful is that she succeeded even for a little moment to manipulate my partner to think it's not that bad what happens there, even though I think my partner might have C-PTSD. And now my partner is even saying that I'm now avoiding their mom, even though I made it clear it's a healthy boundary. I don't need to see a person who doesn't show any respect for me, if it's not absolutely mandatory. But luckily my partner is more on my side, but mostly their own. They understand my hate for her and were even happy that I talked to them honestly about my feelings. I just don't know, this shit is stressing me and I have problems keeping my boundaries in real life, so if I need to face her, I would probably cry or run away from their home with bare feet (yes I have problems with emotional management and impulse control).