u/Melodic-Loss-7406

Sooo been in a relationship for 3 years consistently for 2 years it’s reaching 3 but we are on n off. Mind you we are both Christian and talk about marriage often. Really don’t know where to begin these past few months have been back n forths no accountability idk I wanted to marry him but I’m like what’s the hold up. We went engagement ring shopping like last weekend because I said I want promise rings but now we’re just back to back n forth about other dumb things I have a job also I am a hairstylist he’s been looking for a job and does dj gigs every weekend and works for DoorDash. It wasn’t always like this but it’s been a while he’s been providing for himself in that sense maybe like 5 months. I just started this job last month before I was full time hairstylist as well as in school. I took a break from school this semester because I’ve been living alone for about 4 years now and needed more income. It’s not a career but a good job and it’s close. Did I mention he lives with his parents still. Idk I’m making this post because I just feel fed up. It feels like I’m wanting better but maybe he’s just comfortable. He’s blocked right now because I can’t continue arguing alll day it’s exhausting. The only thing I feel that has kept me in the relationship is knowing we have a foundation in Christ together. We want the same things but ultimately I’m tired. I feel like his love has conditions with me while I am open arms and ears to everything that has to do with him. But anyways there is definitely plenty of fish in the sea. My problem is I know he’s going to make it one day just don’t know if that’ll be with me at this point. Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? I’m just venting at the point .. has anyone ever experienced this? Mind you I’m not perfect he’s put up with a lot when it came to me in the beginning. But I know it’s a season for everything and I’m Thinkin I’m just over this one