After support on a situation with my partner being secretive.
Hi in need of some advice on a situation.
So I’ll try keep it short but my partner and I have been together for 3 years, we’ve got a baby together and have kids from a previous relationship each.
When we met he was talking about prior exes and experiences and as would I one particular girl came up. He would tell me that they had a lot on common but didn’t work out etc whatever. He said when we met he hadn’t slept with anyone for 10 months or so.
He would sometimes say about this ex how she messed him over then wanted him back but he decided no he wants a good relationship.
Now here’s the bit I have difficulty with.
He got a new phone and he was asking me to go through and try find a message from his ex cos I dunno he’s IT illiterate or what not so I did but saw a old message thread from this said girl. So interest peaked and I wanted to read what was in there come to find I guess they slept together maybe a week or so before meeting me and he was sleeping with her on and off while she had a bf.
She then messaged him asking if he had a girlfriend to which he said yes he does then she spammed him with messages of how she will always love him and wishes he was hers. And he also would tell her he loved her before we met.
Anyway I took it as a bit off with him playing off this girl as nothing more than casual.
Fast forward to yesterday I saw on his tik Tok he sent her a follow request and she accepted. He never mentioned to me he sent her a follow as I try be open and he’s allowed to be friends with who he wants bit given the circumstance leaves me feeling so off. Also to add to the wtf when I told him she came up on my Facebook as a suggested friend which is true, he then went into his messages and deleted the whole thread of her messages.
I’m left thinking what the? if it’s innocent why not tell me and just the whole thing is weird. Am I over reacting? How would you ladies approach this as he’s one to shut down often with uncomfortable conversations.