u/MeasurementFirst1676

The storyline is always “spend time with your parents before you regret it, before it’s too late”. I try and try to spend time with my father, but it’s inevitable that he would rather sit in a recliner and do nothing but channel surf the TV. He doesn’t do a damn thing and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. I believe what bothers me the most is he’s denying the fact that his health has been declining. Physically and cognitively, but to him nothing is wrong. His excuse to sitting in a chair all day is that he’s retired. What a way to live out retirement “happy retirement”. I would never want to end my days the way he is. He doesn’t care to talk, to go out and about, he won’t even sit down and have a meal together with anyone. Cook a dinner, say it’s done and he says he’s not hungry. Ten mins. later, he’ll get the food when it’s cold and then reheat it and eat. He’s confusing, I’m different than him, maybe I’m not even his son.

I can’t spend another becking second with him solely because of the person he is. How he’s treated me my entire life etc. - the mental health and anguish I’ve endured and then I question why I bother sticking around. He pushes everyone away, but I’ve stayed around but he just makes me miserable, sad and frustrated. The time has come where I just want to leave him be and let him die alone. There’s a reason he’s been married three times and no one ever calls or asks how he’s doing. He’s burned every relationship he’s ever had because he’s so damn stubborn.

Maybe it’s not fit for all of us to care for our aging parents, some of them don’t even care for themselves or they only care about themselves. In order for me to be happy, I have to do what everyone else has done, leave what makes me miserable and unhappy. I’d like to spend time with him before he passes, but I literally can’t not take being around him. My peace of mind is gone. We’re two different people completely.

Feeder Cleaning Topic:

Too often I feel like the recommended “weekly” feeder cleaning is missed. The birds are visiting per their usual schedule, feeders get topped off and the cycle of cleaning the feeders comes at the end of the season without much thought.

After some heavy rain with mixture of wet snow, I went out to dispose of old bird seed. It wasn’t appealing at all to even look at. I wondered on our back a good 50yds. from the main buffet. I dumped out all that old nasty looking seed and walked away. The very next hour there were birds swooping down for that nasty seed (the seed with moldy bits and all wet etc.) the seed that the birds should NOT be eating.

A few questions;

• When disposing of old bad bird seed, is it okay to do as I did and just toss the pile away from the feeder pole or should I be burying it.

• Is cleaning and disposing of old bird seed (after just 3-4days a tried and true method?) I’m not too sure where I read it, but it suggested to throw away bird seed if it’s been in the feeder for a week. Is this like a ploy to buy more bird seed from bird seed sellers? (I’ve read hummingbird feeders should be changed every two days!! - that seems wild to me.)

• Filling the feeders - do/are you filling your feeders all the way up or are you only filling half of it or even less hence the feeder will be empty quicker??

• If I choose a day to clean them; what’s my best practice? Remove all feeders at once and clean all at once, replacing all at once or should I do a one by one by one method?

*Am I overthinking or what*