I want to preface this by saying I like my doctor overall. She's been my GP for four years, generally fine, no major issues. Which is maybe why this caught me off guard. I went in for a routine appointment and mentioned that I'd like to discuss a more permanent option. I've been CF my whole adult life, I've been on the same birth control for years and I'm just done with it, I want to be done dealing with it entirely. Reasonable thing to bring up with your doctor I would think.
She asked how long I'd been thinking about it. I said my entire life basically. She nodded and then said "and you're sure you won't change your mind, because it is permanent." I said yes, I'm 34, I've had this position since I was in my early twenties and nothing has changed. She said "some times people feel differently at 40" and suggested I take another month to "sit with the decision." I just sat there for a second.
I wanted to ask her if she says this to every 34 year old who comes in wanting to have their tubes tied or if it's just me. I wanted to ask if she gives men a month to think about vasectomies. I didn't ask either of those things because I was too surprised in the moment.
I have a follow up scheduled for next month. I'm going to the appointment and I'm going to be very clear and very calm and I will not be taking another month after that to think about it. I've had three decades, I think that's enough.\
The thing that gets me is she's probably doing this thinking she's being helpfull. Like it's coming from a caring place. But what it actually communicates is that she doesn't trust me to know my own mind at 34, and that is a very specific kind of frustrating.