My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, and recently we’ve been stuck in a bit of a cycle and I’m trying to understand it better.
When we argue, I tend to get very emotional and sometimes I end up crying. She told me that when that happens, she feels like she can’t fully express her thoughts because she has to focus on my emotions instead of the issue itself. She also said that after recent arguments, she doesn’t see us the same way as before and needs time to “go back” to how things used to be.
A couple of days after that, she told me she wants to forget everything that happened and asked me not to bring the issue up again.
But since then, her texting has been noticeably colder and more distant compared to before, even though we are still talking.
From my side, I’ve been feeling insecure and I tend to overthink when she becomes distant, which sometimes makes me express myself more emotionally or text more than I should.
I care about her a lot and I don’t want to lose her, but I also feel like we’re stuck in a cycle where she pulls away when things get emotional, and I get more anxious when she pulls away.
I’m trying to understand:
how to handle emotional imbalance in arguments
how to stop making things heavier during conflict
and whether this “cold phase” is normal after arguments or a sign of something deeper
Any advice would help.
TLDR: i am trying to fix the relationship i still text her and slowly slowy start being more how i used to text her ytd night i lost control, then text her I really miss her already, then she say is okay she says she knows i wanted to say and it is fine she miss me too, then this morning. I text her and send her voice msg , she say hope you wont send too much sleep talk . Then after that we did finally manage to schedule a call but she went home late so i call her an hour late to let her get ready she didn’t pick up , her last msg us call her late or night , thats it