So I’ve been with my boyfriend nearly a year. A few months ago we were watching TV and got onto the topic of the fact I’ve had experiences with girls and enjoyed it. I then asked him if he’d ever kissed a boy (not expecting him to say yes), and he said he had. I was surprised and asked if he’d done more. At first he denied it, then admitted that years ago, when he was drunk, another man performed a sexual act on him.
We were both a bit shocked and just sat there in silence. He asked me a few times if it changed how I looked at him and I reassured him it didn’t. But the truth is, it has a bit, and I feel really hypocritical because I’m openly bi.
My boyfriend is very masculine and comes across very straight, so this doesn’t fit the picture I had of him. It’s thrown me off a bit that he’s had this one-off experience with another man. For context, it was several years ago, it’s never happened again, and he said it actually made him feel physically sick the next day.
I think what I don’t understand is that when I’ve had experiences with the same sex, it’s because I’m attracted to them. So how can he have had that kind of experience if he says he isn’t attracted to men?
It’s a bit of a taboo subject and I don’t want to push him to talk about it more. The last time I asked for clarity he got upset and said it wasn’t fair to bring up something from his past that he doesn’t want to revisit. He also told me who it was and it’s actually someone we both know. He trusted me with this and said he hasn’t told anyone else, so I feel bad that he’s opened up to me but I still look at him a bit differently 😔