For ease of the title I wrote future mother in law but we are not engaged. I (26F) am just in a committed long term relationship (25F) and we know eventually in our future, marriage will be on the table for us.
My best friend from uni is getting married and I am a bridesmaid. It is my first time being a bridesmaid and I am very excited. The bride planned her own hen do and it will be a weekend away somewhere about 5 hours away. Leaving on a Friday and returning the following Sunday. My partner is also invited (like mentioned before it is a committed relationship). She let us know plenty in advance when it will be and the dates where shared with my partners family and put in the shared calendar so everyone will know our whereabouts.
Just last night while all having a lovely evening around the fire pit. Someone asked my girlfriend’s mum what she will be doing for her birthday coming up in around 3 weeks. She very rudely pointed at me and explained clearly she would be doing nothing since I decided to drag her daughter away for the weekend. I politely said I was sorry but it was my best friend hen do and she said “well best friend or future mother in law, who’s more important to you!” I did not answer her, because clearly my answer would not be the one she wanted to hear. Her birthday is on the Friday so we suggest going for dinner all together Thursday night and she said no because that’s like ‘celebrating Christmas, not on Christmas day’. This is not a special birthday such as 50 or 60 and no party or any celebration was pre planned that we had to cancel on. She’s now just upset that she won’t be able to do anything since me and her daughter will be away. For context she has a husband and another adult child with a partner who will be home to celebrate and other friends and family nearby, she will not be alone.
So logically I think going to my best friends hen weekend (which I am a bridesmaid) is higher on my priority rather than staying home to be around for my girlfriends mother’s birthday. But have I got my priorities wrong? Should family come first ?