u/Master100017

I’ve played tons of video games right? I’m 26, I’ve been playing games since I was 3 but my dad (who’s 42) said I haven’t played REAL games until I’ve tried Legend of Dragoon on PS1. I’ve heard about it before, it’s a turn based RPG so I went to eBay and grabbed a disc someone kept in awesome condition since it came out back when it first dropped and now I’m kinda waiting for it to show up.

I actually can’t wait to play it, I’m hyped. I’ve played old school turn based RPG’s before like Phantasy Star IV and I beat that game so it should feel more or less the same right?

It even looks amazing from the cover. I know I can play it on PS5 but I wanna play it on my PS2 for nostalgia reasons and my PS2 is just sitting in my room so I gotta use it.

Let’s go.

Whenever I go to the Chinese casino near where I work, there’s lots of different people in there who are obviously regulars and every time I’m at a table or slot and I win someone will stare at me like I made too much noise or something. Or maybe they’re just weirded out by how excited I get when I win money.

Last week I won $600 at a slot machine after throwing in $10 and some boomer guy near me just scoffed. Like… sir… it’s $600. That goes a long way for me. I’m 26 so whatever lol.

Is it because I’m too new or is it because most gamblers are just stone faced emotionally unavailable people?

I want to say I’m overthinking it and maybe I really am but I don’t know if it’s all of that.

For the past few years I’ve been having this instinct to keep myself alive. Like, people who are dying or are going to die are at peace and although I’m not dying, it’s like my brain wouldn’t want to if I was going to anyway - I don’t want to die regardless.

Yes I’m afraid to die, but also it’s like I’m picturing myself in a situation where it could be out of my control and I just become another number on the statistic. I don’t know why I see it like that. It’s like at any moment I could just be a victim to the millions of ways to die and I wouldn’t have anything to say about it. Sickness, injuries, accidents, malfunctions, other people…

Furthermore, I keep feeling embarrassed at the prospect of going before my time, like if I was in the city and I got ran over by a car or something fell on me and killed me or I was attacked by a wild animal or something along those lines. I think about it all of the time and it’s maddening. I can’t switch my brain off.

What the hell is happening with me? I can’t even pinpoint when it happened, it’s like it just descended on me and I just had to live with it.

How do people go through life and not get scared of the same thing? Can someone please talk me through this. Please.

I’m not joking or asking for attention, I don’t want this to dominate my life, I feel like I’m wasting time.

I always see people talking about how they walk out with 10K, 20K or even more and if you can’t write a cheque for it or you can’t transfer it to your bank and you just walk out with the notes, how did you hide it?

I had trouble leaving with 3K because it barely fit in my wallet and the casino didn’t have any envelopes, people saw me leaving with it.

Just asking for if and when I make tens of thousands in one night. It would make me cut up as hell trying to conceal it.

So you guys know the bread or lottery ticket moment from Squid Game right? Yeah I tried it. I’ve been wanting to do it ever since I saw it the other year but I never got to it. But I have now.

Earlier today, around 9 am I went to a bakery in the city and bought a bunch of cinnamon and bread rolls. The guy in the bakery didn’t want to me to clean his entire open stock out because there were other customers so I also picked up over 20 packs of noodles and other snacks and some drinks. The whole thing set me back $286.

Then I went into a convenience store and bought 50 lottery tickets. I did instant scratch-it’s which are the most popular ones in Australia and the cheapest one is literally $1.22. The highest prize you can win on them is $100K. The cashier guy also asked me if I had a gambling problem and I kind of explained what I was doing and he said he would hope that he would get more customers.

The city I live in isn’t huge but it’s big enough so I knew like a few locations where homeless people hang out. There’s one park where most of them go during the day so I went there first. Also yes, my plan was to give every homeless person a choice, they don’t get both food and a ticket. Also I don’t carry coins so I had to ask someone for 20 cents. They let me keep it lol.

So here’s the whole thing from the start to the end.

First up, the park I went to had a bunch of stone sculptures like giant oddities and stuff like a clothesline peg, a garden hose and a shoe and every homeless person within 5 miles hangs out there. I started with the ones who were alone so I wouldn’t get mobbed because a group of hungry and desperate homeless people would easily mob me - not generalising

So I offered the choice to one old guy and he took the bread without hesitation. Nice. I even asked him why he didn’t take the ticket and he said: “I probably wouldn’t win anyway.” Kind of blew my mind.

Then there was a homeless woman with her daughter and I gave them the choice too and the kid took the chips i had and the woman took the noodles.

After that I went to a homeless guy walking around drinking while barefoot and he took the lottery ticket and asked why I’m doing this. I just explained I wanted to see it for myself. After that I went to the group and they all chose food besides two guys. They took the tickets and told me that if they won they would just buy alcohol. Honestly…? Based.

I went to the park across the street next and there’s less homeless people there but there’s still a few. They mainly get shooed away beaches the park is technically apart of the hotel next to them. All of them there chose the lottery ticket and some guy did win $10 because he got three sparkles in a row.

Later I went to some locations where some lone homeless people hang out and one always sleeps near a convenience store and yeah, he was asleep when I approached him and I felt bad about waking him up. I gave him the choice and he chose food so I handed him some chips. He also begged me for the ticket but I just told him what I was doing, the whole thing offended him but I reassured the guy I wasn’t being condescending.

Lastly, I went to Chinatown and there’s not many homeless people there but on the strip there’s actually a few so that’s where I went. They always hang out by the restaurants for some reason. I asked a native man sitting on a bench which one of the two he wanted and he asked for both but I had to press the station on him so he chose the bread. Good choice dude.

Honestly the best part was later after that when I asked a Chinese man, (yes he was Chinese) which one he wanted and he said what I was doing was outcasting homeless people, adding that I didn’t need to view them through a lens like everyone else does because it wasn’t healthy. I kind of apologised but after that I just gave him both. He deserved it.

Most of my stuff after the whole thing was almost gone, I honestly only had three tickets and some peach juice left so I just gave some random people the tickets and gave the juice to another homeless guy.

I honestly didn’t expect anyone to take the food, I was kind of under the impression everyone was desperate for money but mostly everyone took the food. I had more lottery tickets by the end of the whole thing. Additionally I thought it would take hours or the whole day but it only took 2.5 hours.

You’re probably also there like: “Why didn’t you buy Metro Bus Passes or just give them food straight up?” Yeah you’re right. But I’ve always wanted to try doing that ever since I saw it on squid game.

I wanna do it again but yeah maybe I’ll just give bus passes to everyone next time.