I never understood how I’d find someone in my day to day life.
I’ve always struggled with focusing on my interests and school while incorporating meaningful conversations and connections with people I’m interested in. I know my autism contributes to this in some amount. I’ve never had an irl romantic relationship before, so I don’t have a personal reference for what it would feel like. The one time a girl told me she liked me was in middle school, and it was literally her last day there before she moved to another state. She’s married to a woman now, and I’m still socially stunted. All the other times I’ve admitted my feelings to my woman friends ended with friend-zoning. I’m currently 22, and still feel like I’m missing a sign that I won’t die romantically alone. I know I need to put myself out there more, but I’m starting to lose the drive to do that. It feels like my brain isn’t taking the image of me someday having a girlfriend seriously.