28F single mum struggling with self-worth after breakup during pregnancy
I’m 28F from the UK with a 9 month old son. His dad (32 soon) and I were together for 4 and a half years, but he ended the relationship and made me leave when I was 6 months pregnant. He said we made each other unhappy and that he didn’t love me anymore. At the time I had to leave without even having a proper bed to sleep in, which made the whole situation even harder. It was a really difficult time and I’ve had to rebuild everything on my own since then.
Part of what’s been hard to process is that although his sister later said he “wasn’t ready for commitment,” he still stayed with me for years and knew exactly what I wanted from the relationship.
I’m also still dealing with a lot of anger and hurt towards my ex. During my pregnancy he was secretive with his phone, added a female coworker on Snapchat, and refused to show me anything when I asked, which really damaged my trust. He says he didn’t cheat, but it still feels like a betrayal. My best friend thinks it counts as cheating — I’m not sure what to think.
I’m on sertraline and slowly feeling better, but I still feel stuck between trying to move forward and feeling emotionally tied to everything that happened.
A big part of this is how I feel about myself now. I’m 5ft 6 and 12 stone, and pregnancy plus a C-section have really changed my body — stretch marks, “mum tum”, and I honestly hate how my breasts look now. I don’t feel attractive at all and worry that no man will want me or that I’ll never be loved or get married in the future.
Has anyone been in a similar position and managed to rebuild their confidence or find a healthy relationship again? And also — would you consider his behaviour cheating, or am I overthinking it?
Any advice or experiences would really help.
EDIT - I should also mention he does see his son and said ultimately he would like 50/50. To which I responded once our son can talk and is around 4-5 years old then we can reconsider. We went to court and he withdrew his application so I make all the decisions as he is not on my son’s birth certificate as of yet.