u/Massive_Camel9053

I'll never forget it. Walking back to my car after leaving the hospital room. Crying, knowing I wont have my grandfather much longer. Crying at what cancer did to the strongest man I fucking know. Crying because he used to feed me as a baby, now i have to feed him. The only man who ever truly loved me besides my brother. Im walking to my car in the hospital parking garage. Check the camera apps while walking. 15 min after I had left to go to the hospital, my husband is naked in bed, legs in the air, jerking his cock off to no end. I can hear the bed slamming against the wall in the camera audio.

I stop walking to my car. I cant move. I was only gone for 2 hours. I literally was afraid to leave my husband alone in the house, but there is no shot in hell I'll let him fucking himself stop me from seeing the man who matters most to me.

My grandfather was the one my husband asked for the blessing to marry me. Not my mom. Not my dad. My grandfather.

He knew that man was my number 1, the reason I am who I am.

And he jerked off while I went to see him in his final 3 weeks.

I will never forgive that. NEVER.

On top of everything else, I now had more to cry about. That my husband who I just fucked the night before, which by the way, is really hard to get in the mood for when ur grandfather is dying but my husband is a sex addict and I wanna help, right? But he couldn't go more than 24 hours without sex. I should've done it before going to the hospital, right? Fucking SICK.

I found out about my husband's "porn" problem (we can call it that, but he went absolutely beyond porn and was on HUNDREDS of dating apps, affair websites, massage exchanges, ai girlfriends, etc) 6 months ago.

Because I was so broken and wanted nothing more than things to go back to normal, when the dust settled we continued having sex everyday like we did before i found out about the problem (which btw, finding out ur husband STILL JACKED OFF after you fucked him AT LEAST 9x A WEEK.... THAT HURT MORE THAN IF HE DIDNT FUCK ME AT ALL.)

well last month after saying I feel completely lonely in this marriage bc he spends 5 hours a day gaming when I get home from work, after him leaving me COUNTLESS times in fights bc of his own childhood abandonment trauma, after the slip after slip after slip... guys I bought $700 worth of hidden cameras. I caught every slip. I eventually had to tell him about the cameras bc he asked how I knew since one time he slipped to his "thoughts" lol. So then I took down all the cameras. His ever accountable app.. disabled. Hes unemployed and I used it to see how many jobs he applied to that day while I was at work all day. 5 jobs. Then he gamed. I RAGEDDDD about that. So now ever accountable is disabled.

I basically was FORCED to become the monster i am today. I no longer give a FUCK if he watches porn. I no longer give a FUCK if he wont spend time with me. I no longer give a FUCK if he leaves me. Why? BECAUSE I 100% KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN. I'm no longer hopeful. Will he beat his problem EVENTUALLY? Yeah, maybe when hes 60. Hes 32. 32 years old. It's such a fucking shame bc hes so hot. That's what hurt the most. When u think of the losers on sites like "anonymous affair" or "massage exchange " .... u dont imagine a handsome man with fucking abs who's 6'2 like my stupid piece of shit husband. I read every fucking message he didnt delete. On every site I could find. I saw who he was messaging and realized he really is the most sick, twisted pervert. His women of choice was GILFs and MILFs. Yall I'm 27 years old but I have a baby face, I look 18. My body is def not milf or gilf, it's legit kylie Jenner body circa 2017. He legit messaged women who were so old and wrinkly meanwhile I dont have a single wrinkle on my body and I work out every single day to stay fit.

Back to my main question. After all this I decided to download tinder myself last week. All I did was make a profile and hide it from the deck. Didnt look at anyone. Knew it was bad. Fell asleep. He went thru my phone. Blew up. I tried to kiss his ass for 2 days. But then I thought of all the 60 year old grandmas he hit up saying how he wants to fuck and massage them and I couldn't do it anymore. I really couldn't.

We haven't had sex in 2 weeks and 2 days. We have NEVER gone more than 1 day missing sex. I literally cannot do it. I cant get naked in front of him. I told him hes good to watch porn. Take care of himself bc I'm not interested at all. He is very upset and said this marriage wont work. I brought up how plenty of porn addicts actually go celibate for 3 months to really get clean. He said he ain't doing it lol.

So what did u guys do bc I dont see myself ever having his dick in me again