My trauma
(Partially NSFW)
(Disclaimer I am NOT trying to talk about killing myself I am talking about my experience from my trauma)
I’ve been through a lot of the matter of 18 years. I have adhd, asthma, ptsd, trauma, anxiety, depression. My father gave me PTSD. He physically abused me, choking, emotionally abused me by gaslighting. I was 12 and 13 when he choked me (My biological father). My moms ex, 2012-2016, physically abused me from when I was like 4 or 5-8 or 9 yrs old. I never told my mom until the day she left him. Hell when I was 5 I almost got raped. When I was 7 I fucking died. I’ve been through a lot. Hell I’ve been bullied my whole life like kindergarten until like senior year. But around junior year I started to defend myself. But it was always you’re gay you’re this you’re that then I eventually ended up coming out as gay. When I was 15 & 16 I tried to kill myself. I told my sister she should die bc she still supports my father, the guy that physically abused me. I was on FaceTime with my mom when I was 12 when he took the phone out of my hand pointed the camera to me and started choking me. It’s emotionally exhausting, I’m 9 months seizure free, which you have to be 5 months free to get a license, and my mom said no. I’m in college and I feel like I’m failing. Like there’s so much I’ve been through. So my friends, 2 of them, suggested vanishing. Running away. But I woudlnt do it right now, I would wait until I’m financially stable and could afford to go somewhere. Oh also my moms mom basically fucking hates me. Religion was forced on me and I was told I’m gonna go to hell for being gay. That’s a lot that I’ve been through in 18 yrs. Also when k told my mom abt my rape story she told me to be quiet abt it and not tell anyone. I’m gonna run away but I’m not quite sure where yet but I know somewhere in Latin America. I’ve been thinking either Mexico, Brazil or Argentina. But I wouldn’t bounce until I’m like 20. I need to save up money.