Feeling like a fraud in recovery
Hello. This is my first ever Reddit post, just trying to look for some advice and maybe some people who understand while in the messy parts of recovery.
How do I cope and combat with the ideas my brain tries to give me that im not “sick enough“? Sometimes I feel like others have it so much worse than I do, and it’s making recovery so insanely exhausting.
i think one of the main contributors and reasons my disorder tries to give me for this is the simple fact I’ve never weighed myself, not in my disorder or in my recovery and I never plan to. My brain uses this as a way to try argue that maybe I never was really sick, which I know objectively isn’t true, but it’s hard to try push those thoughts to the back of my mind sometimes. especially now that I’ve also been experiencing extreme hunger, I feel like sometimes I’m bargaining with myself almost on if this actually is my body asking for food and if I’m on the right path, or if I’m just making it up somehow and using it as an excuse for binging?
at the end of the day, I know deep down none of it is true, that my struggling and my hurt is real and I don’t need to tick off a list of made up strict criteria boxes to prove to myself that, but I guess it’s funny how sick this disorder actually is, that it preys on those vulnerable insecurities you have to try set you back once you start fighting against it. But obviously I know I can’t give up so heres to another day tomorrow of pushing through it, hoping things will start to make more sense soon and feel better.